Bardzo proszę o sprawdzenie pracy

Temat: How important are friends/family to you? Tell the class. Is the role of family the same as it was thirty years ago? How has the role of family changed in Poland over the years?

As far as I am concerned, friends and family are what I value the most. Family is the first group which we belong to, because we join it as we enter the world. For a child, family is what helps him or her to grow up, shape personality. What's more, everyone struggles with different problems. Sometimes they're small, but bottling them up can make them more and more serious, and then it will be difficult to solve them. Family helps us overcome our weaknesses. That's why we look to our parents in the first place. We can rely on them. They're here to listen, give advice or be happy for our achievements.
If it comes to friends, when we have one, we don't feel lonely. We have someone to count on in every situation. Plus, friendship is costless, it is not a material thing. Friends can always help each other, they don't have any secrets between them.
I think family is still as important as it's always been. However, the appearance of family did change in Poland over the last few years. Before, they used to consist of more than one child. Now, most couples decide on just one child. It is a huge problem in the society, as it contributes to its ageing, which means there are more old people than young people. What also changed is the type of the family considering who dominates in it - the father or the mother. Roughly 30 years ago, the head of the family was the father - it was a patriarchal family. Nevertheless, now most couples take decisions together, and their roles are balanced out.

For a child, family is what helps him or her to grow up(,) (ja tutaj dalabym slowo 'and') shape (dodaj slowo) personality.
Sometimes they're small, but bottling them up can make them (tutaj wypadaloby dac slowo 'appear') more and more serious, and then it 'will be' (zly czas) difficult to solve them.
Plus, friendship is 'costless' (nie, chyba myslisz o 'priceless'), it is not a material thing.
However, the 'appearance' (wg mnie zle slowo) of family did change in Poland over the last few years.
It is a huge problem in the society, as 'it' (cos tu nie tak, to zejest mniej dzieci niema nic wspolnego z tym ze ludzie zyja za dlugo) contributes to its ageing, which means THAT there are more old people than young people. What also changed is the type of 'the' (wg mnie niepotr) family considering who dominates in it - the father or the mother.
(nie napisales prawdy - kobieta decyduje o wszystkim i wtedy mezczyzna tylko sie z nia zgadza, bo niema innego wyjscia)

For a child, family is what helps him or her to grow up and shape their personality (bo tu chyba nie może być 'a', prawda?)

[...] and then it is difficult to solve them.


Chodziło mi o to, że przyjaźń nic nie kosztuje, nie że jest bezcenna :P

However, the look of the family (?)


Właśnie to, że mało się dzieci rodzi sprawia, że jest więcej ludzi starszych niż młodszych. To jest jedna z głównych przyczyn starzenia się społeczeństwa. Wiem, bo mam rozszerzony WOS :)


Z tego, co wiem, to 'that' można pominąć w tym przypadku, prawda?


Chodziło mi o to, że zmienił się typ rodziny ze względu na władzę matriarchalną czy patriarchalną. I na WOS-ie nauczono mnie, że dotychczas dominowała rodzina patriarchalna, czyli głową był ojciec. Ale teraz większość rodzin to rodziny parnterskie (nie ma tak, że kobieta lub mężczyzna w ogóle nie ma prawa głosu)

Tak czy siak, dziękuję za odpowiedź i pomoc :)

tak, 'their personality' jest poprawnie
napisalbym 'the family structure'
tak, 'that' mozna pominąć
dobrze cie uczyli na WOSie, a terri tylko żartuje

Chodziło mi o to, że przyjaźń nic nie kosztuje, nie że jest bezcenna :P można ująć 'friendship is free'

Jak wiesz lepiej jak JA, to po co sie pytasz ludzi o sprawdzenie.
Prosze nie chwal sie ze masz rosz. WOS.