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Pozdrawiam
Change involves three things:
First: a dissatisfaction with self. A felt void or need.
Second: a decision to change, to fill the void or need.
And third, a conscious dedication, that is a conscious dedication to the process of growth and change. The wilful act of making a change, doing something.
Now that I’ve reinforced this idea, start to move on. The next thing we're going to talk about is the gift of assertiveness. Yes I did say gift, because first of all I want to warn you to make a distinction between being assertive and being aggressive. Now, aggression is often seen as a negative trait. But truly, it isn't. Like all traits, it has it’s place and at times can be necessary in one’s life. Being pushy, boisterous or overbearing to varying degrees?? can all be helpful in some roles. If you are a salesman for example or if you’re called upon to defend yourself. But being aggressive with women is one of the fastest ways to scare them off. Aggressiveness often has hints within it of anger. Not only with women, but the world in general, and that kind of simmering anger smacks of a man who isn't in control of his life. Successful man are always in control of themselves so aggression isn't something you want to portray in everyday circumstances.
Now, it's absolutely vital to understand the differences between the two. The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how your words and your behaviours affect the rights and the well being of others. Do you have their best interest in mind? Are you working with an issue, with the mindset that both of you will come away from a win-win situation or are you so focused on winning that you’ve developed the take-no-prisoners attitude? I’ve been managing and working in a high class gentlemen’s clubs for over 14 years and in that time I have worked with thousands and thousands of women and I have watched tens of thousands of interactions. Men who are rude and aggressive send women running away faster than a speeding bullet. And I know that you don’t want to be the man who does that. Assertiveness is frequently misunderstood. Some people believe you have to be confident to be assertive. However, being assertive is less about being confident and more about valuing yourself and your position that you are coming from. Now you know what aggressiveness is, let’s define and talk about some of the traits of being assertive.
Assertiveness is the ability to formulate and communicate one’s own thoughts, opinions and wishes in a clear, direct and non-aggressive way. Assertive behaviours involves being clear about your own needs and expressing them respectfully to others. Think of someone who has an air of authority. Someone who gets thing done and is listened to without ever shouting, threatening, bribing, sulking or crying. There aren’t many men like this around, however, assertive people stand out when you come across them and they definitely stand out with women.