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Darkness... It was everything I saw. Even though, I knew where I was. In the forest. It was a cold night, without any moonlight. I couldn't even see my hands. The silence made me so scared. Then I noticed a light. It was slowly coming to me. It turned into a girl's dress. She was dirty and barefoot, her skin was pale and her hair was long, that they touched the ground. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I felt like an elderly disabled man, which had been forgotten by everyone and slowly dies with his loneliness and agony. Suddenly, the girl turned her face to me and screamed loudly, that my ears starded to hurt. She didn't had her eyes, there was a darkness instead. Her face was burnt and grey. Then I shouted and woke up with tears on my cheeks. I couldn't fall asleep this night any more.
nieźle, nieźle, tylko musisz poświęcic wiecej uwagi na punctuation
Ja bym nie dał 'which' po disabled man
my ears starded to hurt
She didn't had
'It was everything I saw' (to zdanie trzeba przerobic, nie za bardzo rozumiem co chcesz przekazac, ale nie jest ok).
It was slowly coming 'to' (moze 'towards') me. 'It' (nie za bardzo tego rozumiem) turned into a girl's dress. She was dirty and barefoot, her skin was pale and her hair was long, that 'they' (jak to odnosi sie do 'hair' to piszemy 'it') touched the ground.
I felt like an elderly disabled man, 'which' (jak piszemy o ludziach to 'who') had been forgotten by everyone and (tutaj trzeba cos dodac, moze 'who') slowly dies with his loneliness and agony. Suddenly, the girl turned her face to me and screamed loudly, that my ears 'starded' (popraw) to hurt. She didn't 'had' (popraw) her eyes (tutaj trzeba inaczej, lepiej jest '...any eyes) , there was a darkness instead.
Then I shouted and (tutaj mozesz dodac 'suddenly') woke up with tears on my cheeks.
It was all that I could see
Temat przeniesiony do archwium

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