'It was everything I saw' (to zdanie trzeba przerobic, nie za bardzo rozumiem co chcesz przekazac, ale nie jest ok).
It was slowly coming 'to' (moze 'towards') me. 'It' (nie za bardzo tego rozumiem) turned into a girl's dress. She was dirty and barefoot, her skin was pale and her hair was long, that 'they' (jak to odnosi sie do 'hair' to piszemy 'it') touched the ground.
I felt like an elderly disabled man, 'which' (jak piszemy o ludziach to 'who') had been forgotten by everyone and (tutaj trzeba cos dodac, moze 'who') slowly dies with his loneliness and agony. Suddenly, the girl turned her face to me and screamed loudly, that my ears 'starded' (popraw) to hurt. She didn't 'had' (popraw) her eyes (tutaj trzeba inaczej, lepiej jest '...any eyes) , there was a darkness instead.
Then I shouted and (tutaj mozesz dodac 'suddenly') woke up with tears on my cheeks.