narrating events

Byłabym bardzo wdzięczna za sprawdzenie mojego dialogu. Wiem, że jest dosyć długi i raczej nudny więc może zniechęcać... Z góry serdecznie dziękuję.

- Did I ever tell you about my holiday in my grandmother's house?
- No. What happened?
- I was nine and it was my first holiday without parents. I very liked playing behind the house, because my grandmother had a very big garden. One day, when I was playing, my grandmother called me to dinner. But when I was running to home, I fell into a very big pit.
- What a disaster! What did you do?
- At first I was very amused. I thought that I could go outside, but the pit was too deep. After a few minutes I was very scared. My grandmother didn't know where I was. She went behind the house but she didn't see me and she came back home.
- Poor you! What happened next?
- Leter on I was shouted, but nobody could hear me, because the garden was huge. I was in this pit very long. I was hungry and thirsty. Finally I fell aspleep. I woke up when grandmother's dog was barking. In the end my grandmother found me with dog and helped me. She very worried about me.
- What a interesting experience!

- I was nine and it was my first holiday without (tu cos brakuje) parents. I 'very liked' (co to dziwactwo tutaj robi? - tak nie piszemy, i napewno zaden nauczyciel tak Ciebie nie uczyl-to dlaczego tak piszesz? pisze sie...I like........cos tam cos tam...very much) playing behind the house, because my grandmother had a very big garden.
But when I was running 'to' (niepotr) home, I fell into a very big pit.
I thought that I could 'go' (lepsze slowo 'get') outside, but the pit was too deep.
She went behind the house (przecinek przed 'but') but she didn't see me and she came back home.
'Leter' (ortog) on I 'was' (nie rozumiem dlaczego dalas to tutaj...to wychodzi..*ja bylam krzyczalam...czy tak mowimy?) shouted, but nobody could hear me, because the garden was huge. I was in this pit FOR A very long TIME.
Finally I fell 'aspleep' (ortog). I woke up when (tu cos brakuje) grandmother's dog was barking. In the end my grandmother found me with (brak cos) dog and helped me. She (brakuje WAS) very worried about me.
- What aN interesting experience

bardzo dziękuję :)
a czy może być coś takiego: I used to like playing behind the house very much.