Opowiadanie Prosze o ew. Poprawki

Temat: Napisz opowiadanie opowiadajace o tym jak chlopiec uratowal swoich kolegów od niebezpieczenstwa podczas wycieczki szkolnej"


"Brave Child"
Akapit-> School year consisted of uncountable number of boring days, but that one was especial. The sun was shining brighter, and grass seemed to be greener... It was a day of school trip!
akapit-> Tomy was going to school with his head in the clouds. He reached meeting place, and got into bus. Tomy was interested in automotive so despite fact that there had already sat the teacher he sat in the first line. There he was able to see driver cab.
akapit-> Day had been passing in carefree atmosphere. No sooner had anybody realized than trip was going to the end. During last layover near the forest children got out of the bus, but Tomy stayed in and asked if he could seat on driver seat. Driver agreed and Tomy had lots of fun. But suddenly he shouted loudly and everybody what was going on. Tomy saw tremendous bear which was getting close to children. Everybody was petrified. Then dreadful roar of engine wafted the air, and scared bear went away. It was Tomy who started engine, change gear to neutral and pressed pedal to the metal. Everybody could breathe a sign of relief.
akapit -> After that accident local newspaper published an article about young hero. Tomy was said to have been the most brave and cold-blooded child in whole state. But he didn't feel like a hero, he stayed normal, modest boy who he had been used to be.

It was 'a' THE day of THE school trip!
He reached THE meeting place, and got into THE bus. TomMy was interested in 'automotive' (cos tu nie tak) so despite THE fact that there 'had already sat the teacher' (zla kol slow...that the teacher had already sat there) he sat in the first line. FROM there he was able to see THE driver'S cab.
THE day 'had been' WAS passing in carefree atmosphere. No sooner had anybody realized THAT 'than' (niepotr) THE trip was going to 'the' (niepotr) end. During THE last 'layover' STOPOVER near the forest children got out of the bus, but ToMmy stayed in and asked if he could seat 'on' IN THE driver'S seat. THE driver agreed and ToMmy had lots of fun. But suddenly he shouted loudly and everybody KNEW what was going on. ToMmy saw A tremendous bear which was getting close to children.
Then THE dreadful roar of THE engine wafted the air, and THE scared bear went away. It was ToMmy who started THE engine, changeD gear to neutral and pressed THE pedal to the metal.
After that accident local newspaper published an article about THE young hero. TomMy was said to have been the most brave and cold-blooded child in THE whole state. But he didn't feel like a hero, he stayed A normal, modest boy 'who he had been used to be' (daj to inaczej....whom he always was).

Cos z tymi przedimkami ...zapominasz ich uzywac...

Cos nie tak ze zdaniem No sooner had ..., imo.

tak, to zdanie potrzebuje jeszcze troche pracy