Proszę o sprawdzenie wypracowania

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Witam. Mam napisać wpis na bloga. Treść zadania jest następująca.
Think of a time when you had a new experience or tried a new activity for the first time. Write a blog entry of at least 100 words and:
-say where and when the experience took place and who was involved
-describe what happend
-say how you and the other people involved felt
-say what happend in the end
Moje wypracowanie:Last sunday my father,my mother and I went to Rąblów and tried skiing. My dad and I had let skiis and helmets. I had never tried skiing before but my dad told me that he had been a great skier, before my birthday.
I was very shocked. before I started , my instructor had told me some important tips. Then,there was a moment when I could started my new experience.
I was on the top of the ski slope. I was scared but I set off to down. I'll never forget the situation when skier ,who going before me had a fall. There was a strange situation for me, but I remember the tip from my instructor. I overtook him and I very quickly been on the down. After that situation my father told me that I have to learn what I have to do when I will be in that moment. He also informed me that is pround of me. Finally,we got to the cafe, and we drunk some hot tea. Next day we got back home. Now I love skiing and I cant wait for the next winter and the chance to do it again.
I was very shocked. before I started , my instructor had told me some important tips. Then,there was a moment when I could started<-- ZLE my new experience.
I was on the top of the ski slope. I was scared but I set off to down <--ZLE. I'll never forget the situation when PRZEDIMEK skier ,who BRAK SLOWA going before me had a fall NAPISZ "UPADŁ". There ZAMIEN NA 'THAT' was a strange situation for me , but I remember the tip from my instructor. I overtook him and I very quickly been on the down<-- ZLY CZAS. After that situation my father told me that I have to learn what I have to do when I will be in that moment<--ZAMIEN NA MOWE ZALEZNA. He also informed me that BRAK SLOWA is pround of me. Finally,we got to the cafe, and we drunk some hot tea. Next day we got back home. Now I love skiing and I cant APOSTROF wait for the next winter and the chance to do it again.
let to jak ty komuś coś pożyczasz/wynajmujesz (chyba:))
...he had been a great skier, before my birthday. birthday = "rocznica urodzin". Chyba nie to miałeś na myśli;)
@Aric

to kiedy mowimy "birthday suit", chodzi o papierowa czapke na glowie, brokat i pomalowana twarz?
I was very shocked. moim zdaniem, nie pasuje tu;)
Cytat: zielonosiwy
@Aric
to kiedy mowimy "birthday suit", chodzi o papierowa czapke na glowie, brokat i pomalowana twarz?

nie, (ha ha) tutaj akurat chodzi byciem na golasa.
Temat przeniesiony do archwium.

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