Comparison essay

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Witam :) Byłabym baaardzo wdzięczna za sprawdzenie mojego comparison essay. Jest to porównanie (a raczej skontrastowanie) głownych bohaterów Harry'ego Pottera i Katniss Everdeen ('Hunger Games'). Chodzi mi o interpunkcję, właściwy dobór słow i opinię, czy całość ma jakikolwiek sens :)


They are both heroes, not only in their world, but also in our grim reality. In an era of blind following of behaviours and insipidity among teenagers they bolted from the blue. Harry Potter and Katniss Everdeen (heroine of ‘Hunger Games’), individuals that I refer to, are claimed to have made their mark in everybody’s memory, putting a different complexion on great blockbusters (earlier perceived as having no worth and dumping teenagers’ mind). The same though they seem to be, when we work out their features and skills, goals, psyche and people related to them, we will realize how much we have been mistaken lumping them together and thinking about them in the same categories. By contrasting both heroes I’m going to prove that a leader and a role model for young people doesn’t need to be impeccable.
The first thing differing these two persons appears to be quite obvious and simple, but it’s so important that in this case it decides about how the heroes are regarded. Magic, a skill which every of us would kill for, is a factor which Katniss Everdeen doesn’t have in her blood and doesn’t exist in her reality. Seemingly it could make her less remarkable and intriguing heroine, but surprisingly she attracts more and more fans. Where’s the phenomenon? Exactly in this lack of magic! Unlike Harry Potter, Katniss is perceived as an ordinary girl and the only feature which distinguishes her from others in Panem (the state where she lives) is her great bravery which pushes her into volunteering to take her sister’s place when she is selected to participate in the cruel Hunger Games. In contrast to Katniss, Harry is known among his ‘adherents’ as a magician- a person with supernatural skills, not belonging to our mundane world. He’s a flawless person which emerges from every situation unscathed. Although he’s also extremely daring, this advantage of his isn’t very visible because magic is more attractive to fans.
Both Katniss and Harry’s goals are various. Katniss would never be a ‘girl on fire’ if she didn’t try to rescue her beloved sister. It has never been her main aim to save all people and stop a savage regime. She just wants to survive that hell prepared by a sadistic president Snow and protect her relatives. On the other hand, with a mark left by a dark, unscrupulous and terrifying Lord Voldemort, Harry’s destiny is to save the world as a ‘boy who lived’. That’s why he’s never a normal boy thinking about trivial problems. He’s aware of this enormous responsibility and makes numerous sacrifices in order to defeat the enemy.
Thirdly, Katniss can’t maintain her equilibrium after having experienced all that cruelty. While she tries to fight her inner demons for all her life, most of events seem to be like water off a duck’s back to Harry. Despite all the horrors of war, he is still psychically strong and full of live. J.K Rowling has shown him as a ‘pure’ hero which seems to be too unrealistic to be perceived as somebody whose example can be followed.
What’s more, although the heroine of ‘Hunger Games’ is surrounded with her relatives and friends, she’s always anxious that something can happen to them. There’s nobody who can understand all her fears and quandaries. Everybody’s convinced of her importance in the war for freedom and independence and nobody really cares that she’s only 16. She’s alone in the crowd in spite of the fact that all districts are united in waging a war against tyranny. In contrast, as a ‘Chosen One’ Harry’s being gradually prepared for a role of a leader of a rebellion. Apart from this, some facts are concealed from him in order to secure him and let him grow up without too many worries. He can always count on support of his faithful friends, people related to his dead parents and of course the greatest wizard in the world- Albus Dumbledore. Contrary to Katniss, he’s never doomed to loneliness, in spite of being an orphan.
As distinctive leaders, struggling against fate and trying to defeat darkness and evil, both Katniss Everdeen and Harry Potter influenced readers and viewers all over the world. But taking all differences into account, a real hero doesn’t need to be always ideal and as pure as the driven snow. Thanks shadows in an individual’s character we may regard him/her as more human one.
They are both heroes, not only in their world, but also in our 'grim' (dlaczego tak od razu 'grim' dla niektorych nie jest 'grim') reality.
In an era of blind following of behaviours and insipidity among teenagers they bolted from the blue. Harry Potter and Katniss Everdeen (heroine of ‘Hunger Games’), individuals that I refer to, are claimed to have made their mark in everybody’s memory, putting a different complexion on great blockbusters (earlier perceived as having no worth and dumping teenagers’ mind). (to zdanie jest za dlugie, i ja ani o jednym ani o drugim nie slyszalam, to prosze nie wmawiac mi, ze sa oni 'marked in my memory')
'The same though they seem to be' (zla kolejnosc slow), when we work out their features and skills, goals, psyche and people related to them, we will realize how much we have been mistaken 'lumping' (to jest kolokwa) them together and thinking about them in the same categories. By contrasting both heroes I’m going to 'prove' (you cannot PROVE anything - you may conclude - ale nigdy nie 'prove') that a leader and a role model for young people doesn’t need to be impeccable.
Magic, a skill which every of us would kill for, (sorry, znowu mnie wlaczasz do tego, ja i tak jestem a white witch, to magic jest dla mnie codzienna rzecza) is a factor which Katniss Everdeen doesn’t have in her blood and doesn’t exist in her reality. Seemingly (tu daje sie przecinek) it could make her (brak przedimka) less remarkable and intriguing heroine, but surprisingly she attracts more and more fans.
...Where’s the phenomenon? ...(a tak kogo dokladnie sie pytasz? Mnie sie nie pytaj, chociaz ja to czytam, ale nie wiem o kim mowa)
...Exactly in this lack of magic! (to nie jest zdaniem)
In contrast to Katniss, Harry is known among his ‘adherents’ as a magician- a person with supernatural skills, not belonging to our 'mundane' (znowu ponizasz swiat - on nie jest 'mundane', bo jak tak, to prepraszam bardzo ale nie dla mnie) world. He’s a flawless person 'which' (jak o ludziach to zawsze WHO) emerges from every situation unscathed.
'Both Katniss and Harry’s goals are various' (zla kolejnosc slow).
She just wants to survive 'that hell' (nie wiem o czym mowa, tutaj napewno 'the') prepared by a sadistic president Snow and protect her relatives.
While she tries to fight her inner demons for all (brak slowa) her life, most of (brak slowa) events seem to be like water off a duck’s back to Harry. Despite all the horrors of war, he is still 'psychically' (ortog) strong and full of 'live.' (tutaj jest potrzebny rzeczownik, a nie czasownik) J.K Rowling (a kto to jest?, trzeba napisac) has shown him as a ‘pure’ hero which seems to be too unrealistic to be perceived as somebody whose example can be followed.
. She’s alone in the crowd 'in spite of' (despite) the fact that all districts are united in waging a war against tyranny.
He can always count on (brak slowa) support of his faithful friends, people related to his dead parents and of course the greatest wizard in the world- Albus Dumbledore.
But taking all differences into account, a real hero doesn’t need to be always ideal and 'as pure as the driven snow' (generalnie, tak mowimy ale tylko o kobietach, Mae West was 'as pure as the driven snow', but then she drifted...).
Thanks (brak pare slow) shadows in an individual’s character we may regard him/her as more (dalabym tutaj 2 slowa) human one.

Bardzo dziwnie sie to czyta, chcesz robic to naukowo, ale wtedy nie dajemy slow, ktore nie nadaja sie do prac naukowych. Myslisz za duzo po polsku, albo to przeszlo przez kiepski translatorek.

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