Rozprawka na temat - multicultural policy in European countries - pros & cons.

Poprosiłbym Was o sprawdzenie mojej rozprawki i wytknięcie ewentualnych błędów.

The issue of a multicultural policy of European countries is one of the hottest topics nowadays. The European society is divided on the subject of accepting foreigners from many other countries. Let us consider advantages and disadvantages of such a controversial policy.
Recently, we have had many opportunities to hear about lots of voices against an open immigration policy. The believers of European values often mention about the leftist policy of the European Union that led to assassinations in France, as well as, acts of rape in Cologne, last year. According to them, an increase of foreigners will bring destruction of Europe about. As far as economic issues are concerned, most of foreigners who live in Europe are aimed being on the dole. As a result, mass social security can take down finance of state that is not reach enough to level of bankruptcy.
There are also advantages of such a policy. Going the way of economics, it is not worth forgetting about young and efficient people who want to work honestly. Such responsible and hardworking are being welcomed on the European labor market. Last but not least issue is support for families and their children from war areas. Those people expect our help and kindness in such a cruel moment of their life.
To conclude, I think the multicultural policy has not worked in practice because many Europeans are afraid of their safety. Acts of vandalism and terrorism in western European countries should make a barricade against accepting too high amount of foreigners.

mention bez about
about daj po bring
are aimed being - nie rozumiem
po such musi byc rzeczownik
Last but not least issue - nie rozumiem
gdzieniegdzie pominelas przedimki

Co do "mention", "last but not least issue" i "are aimed being" faktycznie masz rację. Przed chwilą sprawdziłem. "mention" występuje bez "about", "last but not least issue" zamienię może na "Last but not least, it is very important to support families and their children from war areas" - chyba może być, be aimed występuję z at - zapomniałem o tym :(.

Jeżeli chodzi o "bring sth about" to jest to phrasal verb, więc może występować w takiej formie jaką użyłem. Po drugie, zawsze mnie uczono, że po such z reguły idzie przymiotnik a potem rzeczownik np. "such a beautiful women".

Ale dzięki za wskazówki. ;)

nie może.

co do such - nie musi byc przymiotnika, tylko rzeczownik np. such a woman. W twoim zdaniu 'such responsible and hardworking' nie ma rzeczownika

Miało być "Such responsible and hardworking people". Mój błąd. A mój podręcznik, Longman repetytorium, podpowiada, że mam rację co do "bring sth about":
- What you did can bring about serious consequences,
- What you did can bring serious consequences about,
Obydwie formy są poprawne.

ale destruction of Europe jest za dlugie, zeby mozna bylo dac about na koniec.

Trzeba było tak od razu ;) Dziękuję za korektę.

A czy serious consequences nie jest także za długie? Czy też w książce zostało podane tylko do zobrazowania że gramatycznie jest poprawne?

nie pisalem tej ksiazki :-)

Powinieneś napisać erratę :)

The European society is divided on the subject of accepting 'foreigners' (nie jest jasne dla mnie, kogo nazywasz tak, bo kazdy, kto nie jest native danego kraju jest 'foreigner') from many other countries. Let us consider advantages and disadvantages of such 'a controversial policy' (ale jeszcze nie podales mi, dokladnie co ta 'policy' ma na mysli, i dlatego, ona nie moze byc 'controversial, bo ja nie wiem jaka ona teraz jest).
The believers of 'European values' (a dokladnie - jakie to sa 'European values' ?) more often mention about the leftist policy of the European Union that led to assassinations in France, as well as(,) (nie rozumiem dlaczego tu jest przecinek) acts of rape in Cologne(,) (nie rozumiem dlaczego tu jest przecinek) last year. According to them, an increase of foreigners will bring 'destruction of Europe about' (cos tu nie tak z tym...slowa sa w zlej kolejnosci...will bring about the ...). As far as economic issues are concerned, most of foreigners who live in Europe 'are aimed being on the dole.' (tego calkowicie nie rozumiem) As a result, mass social security (tutaj trzeba doda 'payments', bo samo 'social security' nic nie zrobi) can take down (brakuje przedimka) 'finance of state' (wg mnie zle slowa, moze 'the financial instability of the state)... that is 'not reach enough' (tego nie rozumiem) to (przedimek) level of bankruptcy.
Such responsible and hardworking (tutaj brakuje rzeczownika, np 'people') are being welcomed on the European labor market. Last (tutaj brakuje przecinka) but not least (tutaj brakuje slowa, np. important) issue is (przedimek) support for families and their children from (przedimek) war areas. Those people expect our help and kindness in such a cruel moment of their 'life' (tutaj ma byc l. mnoga, bo masz slowo 'people').
To conclude, I think the multicultural policy has not worked in practice because many Europeans are afraid 'of' (nie, tu masz zle slowo, ma byc FOR...pamietaj, 'I am afraid OF my children' jest calkowicie cos innego jak 'I am afraid for my children' - co chcesz powiedziec) their safety. Acts of vandalism and terrorism in western European countries should 'make a' (zle slowo, moze 'construct) barricade against accepting too high (przedimek) amount of foreigners (ale gdzie? musisz napisac)