Essay

Witam, dawno mnie tutaj nie było :)
Mam prośbę, czy byłby ktoś tak uprzejmy, żeby zerknąć na esej i wskazać co jest dobrze, a co mogłoby być lepiej? Byłbym wdzięczny :)


Read the two texts below. Write an essay summarising and evaluating the key points from both texts. Use your own words throughout as far as possible, and include your own ideas in your answers. Write your answer in 240 – 280 words.


Text 1:

Shifting sands: behavioural change

Nowadays, in some cultures there may often be confusion between generations about what is acceptable behaviour in certain situations. Older people sometimes complain, for example, about the real or imagined rudeness of others, such as in the use of electronic devices in public places. However, the younger generation do not regard electronic communication as intrusive, but rather as fundamental to their way of life. Only increased mutual understanding is likely to resolve potential conflict or confusion in any society. In this case, as in all others, it pays to be aware of other people's points of view.

Text 2:

Follow my leader?

Should we always aim to do what society expects of us? No, what society needs is individuality. Worrying about what other people think inhibits enthusiasm and creativity. Nothing new is ever achieved by conforming to expected social norms. This is not only true for society's innovators: everybody needs a strong sense of their own worth as an individual. This is essential for psychological well-being and the ability to function effectively in one's personal and professional life. Paying too much attention to society's conventions can be counter-productive in these and other ways. Write your essay.


The world where we live today is a place jam-packed with diversity. To get the things worse, it is impossible to make out the factors which would prove you absolutely right when it comes to making every single decision.

Not until the last decades, have the distinction applied to so great a variety of new habits which the young assimilated and the old are, as in a common saying: 'You cannot teach an old dog new tricks', unable to. With technological innovations hitting the shelves at a frenetic pace elderly people just cannot catch up with, they are incapable of understanding their role in youths' lives, let alone taking sides in the argument between generations reasonably.

Other than that, as a matter of fact, not only is the diversity mentioned a thing which draws the line between the old and the young. As far as it is concerned, it differentiates people falling into the same stage of life as well, making it hard to decide whether to follow the habits most popular with their peers, or to find their own ways of doing other things. The latter challenges the stereotype stating that what one is expected to do is what they really have to, thus allowing for one's imagination, creativity and so on.

There are numerous situations which require us to obey strict regulations like those written in the law. Apart from that, we should not limit ourselves just to what others say. While proper education is what can cause the occurrence of generation gap to be filled or at least decreased in its strength, there is no remedy for not living YOUR life if facing up to OTHERS' expectations.

To 'get' (nie, slowo jest 'make') 'the' (niepotrzebne) things worse, it is impossible to 'make out' (nie, to jest zle, moze 'select') the factors which would prove you absolutely right when it comes to making every single decision.

Not until the last decades, have the distinction applied to so great a variety of new habits which the young assimilated and the old are, as in a 'common' (cos to slowo mi sie nie podoba, mozna 'an old proverb') 'saying' (uzyj 'proverb'): 'You cannot teach an old dog new tricks', unable to. With technological innovations hitting the shelves at a frenetic pace (brak przedimka, 'the') elderly people just cannot catch up with. (daj tutaj koniec zdania i zacznij nowe). They are incapable of understanding their role in 'youths'' (wiem, ze slownik tak mowi, ale lepiej uzyc 'youngsters') lives, let alone taking sides in the argument between generations reasonably.

Other than that, as a matter of fact, not only is the diversity mentioned 'a thing' (nic w swiecie nie jest 'a thing' wszystko ma swoja nazwe, mozna 'a topic, an issue - cos takiego) which 'draws the line' (ok, ale mozna 'separates the old...') between the old and the young. As far as it is concerned, it differentiates people falling into the same stage of life as well, making it 'hard' (nie, lepsze slowo 'difficult'. 'hard jak chodzi do decisions to jest kolokw) to decide whether to follow the habits most popular with their peers, or to find their own ways of doing 'other' (niepotr) things. The latter challenges the stereotype stating that what one is expected to do is what 'they' (jak juz piszesz 'one', (co tutaj jest ok), to dalej tez uzywaj 'one') really 'have' (has) to, thus allowing for one's imagination, creativity and 'so on' (nie za bardzo rozumiem co to jest to 'so on' - jak mozesz komus 'allow so on'? Tutaj trzeba napisac, moze 'daily behaviour' - cos takiego).

While 'proper' (to jest kolokw - co miales na mysli to jest slowo 'formal', bo nie istnieje cos takiego jak 'improper education') education 'is what' (wg mnie niepotr) can cause the occurrence of generation gap to be filled or at least decreased in its strength, there is no remedy for not living YOUR life 'if' (tutaj ja bym dala inaczej...wystarczy slowo 'and not') 'facing' (troche takie nijakie slowo, moze 'meeting', 'achieving'- cos takiego) 'up to' (niepotr) OTHERS' expectations.

Dzięki :)