Eh kolejne sprawdzenie pracy, tym razem do redakcji

Proszę o sprawdzenie kolejnej pracy, będę się tu często teraz udzielać, ale spokojnie po marurach obiecuje już pojawiac sie tu rzadziejj :p
Dear Editor,

I am writing in connection with the article published in yeaterday’s edition of your newspaper. It was about a deletorious influence of sports, music and film stars on young peope. I strongly disagree with the autor’s view and I would like to describe someone who in my estimation can be a role model for youngsters.

Bb is an American actress, famous for starring in films such as „C” or „g”. In 2004 she had a car accident in which both of her legs were paralysed. Since then she has been confined to a wheelchair. Despite her disability, Bb did not give up. She started attending a dance studio where able-bodied could dance together and soon set up her own one. Today, the school has branches in several countries and the members perform for global audience.

Individuals like Bb surely have a positive impact on young people. She keeps moving on despite the adversity that occured to her. Bb encourages the young to work hard and tells them not to give up even circumstances are unfavourable. Little do you know how many motivational speeches she gave. She is an excellent example of a person who devotes her life to others and can be a role model for the young.

In my view Bb can be a perfect inspiration for youngsters and we should learn from her. I am curious to know what other readers think about this article and hope you will publish my letter along with other replies.

Yours faithfully,

Dear Editor,

I am writing in connection with the article published in yeaterday’s edition of your newspaper. (dobrze było podac jakis tytul tej gazety) It was about(troche zbyt uzywane w mowie, uzyj deal with albo cos podobnego) a deletorious(zbyt formalne) influence of sports, music and film stars on young peope. I strongly disagree with the autor’s view and I would like to describe (moze przedstawic introd...) someone who in my estimation(niepotrzebne) can be a role model for youngsters.

Bb is an American actress, famous for starring in films such as „C” or „g”. In 2004 she had a car accident in which(with the res...that) both of (opcjonalne)her legs were (bardziej natychmiastowe got) paralysed. Since then she has been confined to a wheelchair. Despite her disability, Bb did not give up. She started attending a dance studio where able-bodied (and niepełnosprawni ludzie)could dance together and soon set up her own one(nie ma odniesienia trzeba napisac co założyła). Today, the(jej) school has branches (moze agencje) in several countries and the members perform for (przedimek) global audience.

Individuals like Bb surely have a positive impact on young people. She keeps moving on despite the adversity that occured to her("ona jest fac...with)". Bb encourages the young to work hard and tells them not to give up even (kiedy)circumstances are unfavourable. Little do you know how many motivational speeches she gave(present perfect). She is an excellent example of a person who devotes her(ich) life to others and can be a role model for the young.

In my view Bb can be a perfect inspiration for youngsters and we should(moze moglibysmy) learn from her. I am curious (as) to know(niepotrzebne) what other readers think about this article and hope you will publish my letter along (niepotrzebne) with other replies.

Yours faithfully,

Dziękuję :)

Little do you know how many motivational speeches she gave. np Little does one know...chociaż ja bym wcale nie użył tego tutaj ;-))

Eh ja tez nie, ale nauczyciel (tak juz mnie wkurza) mowi, ze jezeli w rozprawce/liscie itp itd nie ma inwersji, mowy zaleznej czy cegos takiego to to jest ZLE

Little do you know how many motivational speeches, which helped many people she has gaven
No chcialam jakos bardziej ta inwersje dopasowac, ae nie wiem czy mozna tak jak wyzej

Little do you know how many motivational speeches, which helped many people (przecinek) she has gaven(literowka)

zdanie wyzej jest słabe stylistycznie

No wiem :/