Sprawdzi mi ktoś rozprawkę?

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
1. Władze wielu miast sponsorują koncerty gwiazd na świeżym powietrzu w noc sylwestrową. Napisz rozprawkę, w której przedstawisz dobre i złe strony organizacji takich imprez na powitanie Nowego Roku

Most of people having fun in the New Year's Eve. It is a day when most of cities organise parties on a fresh air. Society can enjoy themselves during this night by listening for instant concert and also spending time on the air. It has some advantages and disadvantages.
These parties generate large noise. It can be disagreeable for elderly people who would like to spend time in their houses and avoid noise. They also want to have peace and they go to bed earlier than others group of society. In Europe there is a lot of pensioners and it can be problematic for them.
However, this problem exist only one day in a whole year. Notwithstanding, some of pensioners have bad attidute against this type of celebrating but it is little amount.
To be honest, it is better to spend time on the fresh air with friends or workmate than in a house. Human needs dealing with people and having fun with others. It is the truth that is a big expenditure for a large cities but authorities should sponsor these events. In my opinion it is necessarily to invite singers for society. It is the only one day. It could not be large expenditure especially to big cities which wants to be advertised. These type of events are streamed in a television so the city has advertise. It is good to people who prefer spending new year's eve in the house on the sofa.

To sum up, in this subject there are more advantages than disadvantages. It is worth to organise fresh air party in this special night even if it is can be expensive. Also dealing with people is really important in current times.
Most of (bez)people having (bezokolicznik)fun in the(on) New Year's Eve. It is a day when most of(bez) cities organise parties on(in) a(przedimek określony) fresh air. Society (ludzie)can enjoy themselves during this night by listening for instant(bez) (listen łączy się z innym przimkiem) concert(s) and also(bez) spending (ich) time on(jak w pierwszej linijce) the (świeżym?) air (albo napisz na zewnatrz zeby nie powtarzać). It has some advantages and disadvantages.(bez)
These parties generate large(głośny) noise. It can be disagreeable (inny przymiotnik )for elderly people who would like to spend (ich) time in their houses and avoid (away from) noise. They also want to have peace and they(bez) go to bed earlier than others group(s) of society. In Europe there is (liczba mnoga) a lot of pensioners and it (trzeba wyjaśnic co to jes tto "it"can be problematic for them.
However, this problem exist(present simple) only (on) one day in a whole year. (That)Notwithstanding, some of (bez) pensioners have bad attidute against(inny przyimek "w kierunku) this type of celebrating (rzeczownik byłby lepszy)but it is (a) little(normalnie "mały) amount.(pensioners sa policzlni potrzebujesz słowa "liczba")
To be honest, it is better to spend time on the fresh air with friends or workmate(s) than in a house. Human needs dealing with people and (ludzie potrzebują) having fun with others(one another). It is the truth (przymiotnik, znajdz wyrazenie "bez zwątpienia) that is a big expenditure for a large cities but authorities should sponsor these events. In my opinion, it is necessarily(przymiotnik) to invite singers for society(koncerty?). It is the (bez) only one day. (so) It could not be (a) large expenditure especially to(dla) big cities which wants to be advertised.(ich ofertę?) These types of events are streamed (inne słowo)in(inny przyimek) a(bez) television so the(bez) city(ies) has advertise.[/b] (bez)It is (a) good (rozwiązanie) to(dla) people who prefer spending new year's eve (duża) in the house on the sofa.

To sum up, in this subject (bez)there are more advantages than disadvantages (...dokończyc). It is worth to organise (a) fresh- air party in this special night even if it is can be expensive. Also dealing with (integrowanie się?) people is really important in current times.(these days)
Dobrze by bylo, zeby osoby poprawiajace cos mialy blade pojecie o jez. angielskim. To pierwsze. Ja to zobacze i wtedy poprawie to, co ktos tez poprawil.
Most of (przedimek) people 'having' (calkowicie zle slowo) fun in the New Year's Eve. It is a day when most of (przedimek) cities organise parties 'on' (zle slowo) 'a' (zly przedimek) fresh air. Society can enjoy 'themselves' (calkowicie zle slowo) during this night by listening for instant (tu brak 2 slowa) concert and also spending time 'on' (zle slowo) the (brak slowa) air. 'It' (nie jest jasne do czgo to 'it' sie odnosi) has some advantages and disadvantages.
'These parties' (nie jest jasne jakie? musisz wytlumaczyc) generate large noise.
They also want to have peace and they go to bed earlier than 'others' (zle slowo) 'group' (tu ma byc l. mnoga) of society. In Europe there 'is' (ale to slowo ma sie odnosic do l. mnogiej) a lot of pensioners and it can be problematic for them.
However, this problem exist only (tu brak slowa) one day in a whole year. Notwithstanding, some of (przedimek) pensioners have (przedimek) bad 'attidute' (ortog) against this type of celebrating (przecinek przed slowem 'but') but it is (przedimek) 'little' (zle slowo) 'amount' (wg mnie nie za bardzo trafne slowo).
To be honest, it is better to spend time 'on' (zle slowo) the fresh air with friends or 'workmate' (albo l. mnoga albo przedimek przed slowem) than in a house. Human (ale co? jak mowisz o jednym to przeba przedimek przed lowem 'human') needs (tu cos brak) 'dealing' (zle slowo) with people and (tu cos brak) 'having' (zle slowo) fun with others. It is 'the' (niepotr) 'truth' (zle slowo) that (ale co? tutaj musisz cos dopisac) is a big expenditure for 'a'(niepotr) large cities but authorities should sponsor these events. In my opinion it is necessarily to invite singers 'for society' (calkowicie tego nie rozumiem). It is 'the' (niepotr) only (tu brak slowa) one day. It could 'not be large' (tu jest arse over tit - trzeba zmienic kolejnosc slow) expenditure especially to big cities which 'wants' (dlaczego tu masz 3 os.l.poj jak odnosisz sie do 'cities' l. mnoga) to be advertised. These type of events are streamed 'in' (zle slowo) 'a' (niepotr) television so the city has 'advertise' (a gdzie reszta slowa?) . It is good 'to' (zle slowo) people who prefer spending 'new year's eve' (to jest nazwa wlasna i powinna byc napisana duzymi literami) in the house on the sofa.

It is worth 'to organise' (zle, tutaj potrzeba cos innego) (brak przedimka) fresh air party 'in' (zle slowo) this special night even if it 'is can' (po jakiemu to jest? jedno slowo za duzo) be expensive. Also dealing with people is really important in current times (nie rozumiem tego zdania).
A teraz poprawe to co ktos juz chcial poprawic.....
Most people having (tutaj potrzeba slowa 'have') fun on New Year's Eve. It is a day when most of (bez) (tutaj brakuje przedimka) cities organise parties in THE fresh air. Society (ludzie) can enjoy themselves during this night by listening 'for instant' (to jest zle) TO concert(s) and also spend time 'on' (zle slowo) the (świeżym?) air. 'It' (nie jest jasno co to jest co ma ...) has some advantages and disadvantages.
These parties generate (głośny) noise. It can be disagreeable (inny przymiotnik ) (wg mnie to moze byc 'disagreeable) for elderly people who would like to spend (ich) time in their houses and avoid (away from) (wg mnie to jest niepotrzebne, mozna ...avoid noise) noise.
In Europe there is (liczba mnoga) a lot of pensioners and it (trzeba wyjaśnic co to jest to "it"can be problematic for them.
However, this problem exist(present simple - nie tyle p.simple co jego 3os.l.poj) only (on) one day in a whole year.
Notwithstanding, some of (bez) (tutaj potrzeba przedimka) pensioners have (tu brakuje przedimka) bad 'attidute ' (blad ortog) against this type of celebrating (rzeczownik byłby lepszy - nie tylko lepszy ale jest wymagany) but it is (a) little "mały (little jest tutaj zlym slowem) amount.(amount jest tutaj zlym slowem)
OF pensioners.
To be honest, it is better to spend time 'on' (zle slowo, wiemy ze to jest kalka z polskiego i prosto, prosto z jakiegos kiepskiego translatorka) the fresh air with friends or workmate(s) than in a house.
(brak przedimka) human needs 'dealing' TO DEAL with people and (ludzie potrzebują) 'having' TO HAVE fun with 'one another' (nie, wg mnhie 'others' jest o.k. a human needs contact with others...) . It is (przymiotnik, znajdz wyrazenie "bez zwątpienia)(tutaj wystarczy...it is true) that (brakuje slowa) is a big expenditure for 'a' (niepotr) large cities but authorities should sponsor these events. In my opinion, it is (przymiotnik) to invite singers for society (koncerty?). (to zdanie niema sensu)
(so) (calkowicie nie rozumiem dlaczego slowo 'so' jest tak duzo uzywane i nawet wtedy kiedy jego tam nie trzeba) It could 'not be (a) large' (to jest calkowicie zle...It may NOT BE A LARGE...), expenditure especially dla) big cities which want to be advertised. These types of events are 'streamed' (nawet nie rozumiem co to jest? Nie wszyscy mamy 20 lat - trzeba pisac tak, zeby osoby powyzej 20tki rozumialy) 'in' ON television 'so' (znowu to 'so') the city(ies) 'has' (jak cities to l. mnoga czasownika) 'advertise' (a reszta slowa?).
It is (a) good (rozwiązanie) to (dla) people who prefer spending new year's eve (duża) in the house on the sofa.

To sum up, in this subject there are more advantages than disadvantages (...dokończyc). It is worth 'to organise' (to jest zle, tutaj potrzeba 'organizing') (a) fresh- air party 'in' (zle slowo) this special night even if it 'is can' (albo jedno slowo albo drugie) be expensive. Also dealing with (integrowanie się?) people is really important in current times.(these days) (wg mnie, current times tez jest o.k.)
Nie wiem dlaczego autor użył 'notwithstanding' w the sposób. Imo, źle.
@jamiroquai23 @terri dzięki za poprawienie
Aaric no mogłem although uzyc
Cytat: gruby69
Aaric no mogłem although uzyc
tylko podstawić 'although' w to miejsce? Też nie. Np. In spite of this, ....
Cytat:
Most of (przedimek) people 'having' (calkowicie zle slowo) fun in the New Year's Eve.

nie wiem terri, gdzie tu widziałaś jakiś błąd?
outdoor party :)
Cytat: Aaric
Nie wiem dlaczego autor użył 'notwithstanding' w the sposób. Imo, źle.

Nevertheless chciał napisać.
nevertheless = notwithstanding w tym zdaniu
i byłoby ok, ale nie pasuje stylistycznie do całości, bo w poprzednim zdaniu jest już 'however'
edytowany przez zielonosiwy: 04 maj 2017
Cytat: zielonosiwy
nevertheless = notwithstanding w tym zdaniu
i byłoby ok, ale nie pasuje stylistycznie do całości, bo w poprzednim zdaniu jest już 'however'

Notwithstanding this fact powinno być. Te dwa zdania trzeba połączyć w jedno: Even though blah, blah, blah, some of...

Ogólnie widać, że autor starał się sam, więc i tak oklaski.
Cytat: jamiroquai23
Cytat:
Most of (przedimek) people 'having' (calkowicie zle slowo) fun in the New Year's Eve.

bo powinno byc tak:
Most of THE people HAVE fun ON New Year's Eve.......
Most of THE people HAVE fun ON New Year's Eve.......
Cytat:
Most of (przedimek) people 'having' (calkowicie zle slowo) fun in the New Year's Eve.

bo powinno byc tak:
Most of THE people HAVE fun ON New Year's Eve..

Nie, nie powinno. Mówisz ogólnie o wszystkich ludziach, podobnie z miastami linijkę niżej., in this special night rowniez ok
Temat przeniesiony do archwium.

« 

Szkoły językowe

 »

Nauka języka