Covering letter - check it please.

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Proszę o sprawdzenie listu motywacyjnego słów w nawiasach nie jestem pewien tzn nie wiem którego użyć, które będzie lepiej pasowało

Dir Sir or Madam/Dir Sirs (nie wiem kto będzie czytał ten list i szczerze powiedziawszy nie mam pojęcia jak to napisać żeby było ok)

I've had the pleasure to review XXXXXXX web site, and to speak with representative of your company at work fair organized by University of Technology in Gliwice in 8th of March 2008, and am very enthusiastic about the positions advertised. I would like to apply for a student (training/traineeship) in development/construction department either as in machine design and material technology department since 01/07/2008 till 30/10/2008.

I am a student of fourth year on Silesian University of Technology in Gliwice, at Technological Mechanical department on Technical and Information Technology Education field of (study/course) with emphasis in Technology of Machines Design. I can describe my results of (learning/study) as good what expressing my second position from among of all students on my course during emphasis picking, or the fact that I am receiving the highest possible scholarship (anticipated/predicted) on my University. I can (efficiently/competently) use English, either written and spoken.

I am motivating my willingness of (intern/being trainee) in XXXXXXX company with possibility of develop my interests which are three dimension modeling and finding a new solutions in machines designs. I am seeking to complement my university experience with an internship in order to acquire the background necessary for a future career. Moreover this internship would provide me with the ideal opportunity to assist at your organization and to expand my skills.

My background, combined with my eagerness to learn more about machine design and construction, make me ideally suited for an internship with your organization. I would greatly appreciate an opportunity to meet you in person to discuss internship opportunities. Please feel free to call me at XXXXXXX or email me at XXXXXXXXXXX.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
XXXXX XXXXXX

Z tego co widziałem na forum listy innych osób są bardzo długie i nie wiem czy mój nie jest za krótki jednak podejrzewam ze zawarłem w nim teoretycznie wszystko co chciałem
Po przejrzeniu forum zauważyłem bardzo kompetentną "forumowiczkę" o nicku terry, na której opini mi bardzo zależy.

Pozdrawiam
mała poprawka - o nicku terri oczywiście :)
Jeśli możesz poczekać poparę godzin, wyślij me polski tekst twojego tłumaczenia na adres --- [email] wieczorem będę miał czas to pzejżeć....
'Dir' DEAR Sir or Madam,

Jabym dala wiecej 'active' sentences.

'I've had the pleasure to review X web site' (I have reviewed the X website and spoke to'), 'and to speak with'(niepotr) A representative of your company at A 'work' (czy nie przypadkiem JOB?) fair organized by THE University of
Technology in Gliwice 'in' ON THE 8th of March 2008.
I am very enthusiastic about the positions advertised.

...I would like to apply for a student (training/traineeship) in development construction department either as in machine design and material technology department 'since' (to slowo tutaj nie pasuje) 01/07/2008 till 30/10/2008...Napisz to zdanie po polsku... .

I am a 'student of fourth year' FOURTH YEAR STUDENT 'on' (nie- tak nie mowimy - jestes studentem AT THE Silesian University of Technology in Gliwice.
'at Technological Mechanical department on Technical and Information Technology Education field of study with emphasis in Technology of Machine Design' (tutaj tego jest za duzo - at the X faculty with a specialisation in....) (trzeba cos jeszcze o tym pomyslec)

'I can describe my results' (nie, I am currently the second best student in my year and receive the highest possible scholarship available) (Gdzies tutaj trzeba umiescic to 'emphasis picking')

I achieved of (learning/study) as good 'what' (nie pisz tego, to jest kalka z polskiego) expressing my second position from among of all students on my course during 'emphasis picking' (tego nie rozumiem), or the fact that I am receiving the highest possible scholarship (anticipated/predicted) on my University.

'I can efficiently/competently use English' (lepiej I am a competent user of English in written and spoken modes).
Terri ......... I can efficiently/competently use English' (lepiej I am a competent user of English in written and spoken modes).....it's too complicated, it's easier to simply say..."I'm fluent in both written and spoken English"
jesli juz to I am, nie I'm
>>>it's too complicated, it's easier to simply say..."I'm fluent in both
written and spoken
Ale 'competent' a 'fluent' to niestety nie to samo.
true.....I'm używa się w mowie potocznej, "I am" powinno sie pisać w oficialnych listach.
.....saing that, since I use American (Canadien) English, we're not so picky as Brits are, Pakk...:)
>>>"I am powinno sie pisac...
List motywacyjny jest wg mnie oficjalnym listem i do tego, jedyna szansa na zrobienia jakiegokolwiek wrazenia.
you're right terri, competent has a different meaning which you never use when you say how well you know a language. You can be a competent person to do a certain job,( because of your training), but you are never "competent" in English or any other language, you are "fluent " in English
I stand corrected.
http://glossary.immigration.govt.nz/competentuserofenglish.htm

Would you also, please be good enough to inform the New Zealand Immigration service of this fact and a stack of others which I also found on 'google'.
>>>CAE*** (Certificate in Advanced English) is the level of a Competent User of English who can use the structures of the language and communicate in diverse situations with ease and fluency. CAE is recognised by universities as an English-language entrance requirement both in Britain and other English-speaking countries.

Oczywiscie oni tez sie myla.
LOL.....competent USER of English...accent on USER, not English, it didn't say competent IN English...did it ?

The competent English language arts teacher understands the role of communication in relation ......the subject here is the English teacher, not English language

PS......please be kind enough.....not ...good enough...
:)
to sum it all up:
-competent user of English
-fluent in English
...do you agree now, terri?
>>>competent USER of English...accent on USER, not English, it
didn't say competent IN English...did it....(but neither did I darling)

Well, maybe if you had bothered to read exactly what I wrote, you would see that
>>>...lepiej I am a 'competent user of English' in written and spoken modes.
point taken girl :)
point taken...but ..if I had bothered to read exactly what you wrote, I would have seen that.....
Prawdę mówiąc mój polski list motywacyjny nie ma wiele wspólnego z tym angielskim, z tego powodu iż tutaj próbuję używać zwrotów które "pasują", nie tłumaczyć dosłownie. Przepraszam że dopiero dzisiaj odpisuję niestety mój charmonogram dnia ostatnio jest napięty do granic możliwości.
Exactly, there is subtle difference between competent and fluent, and unfortunately i'm not fluent in English yet...
So you are a competent user of English who is not fluent in it...? Strange ;-)
>...I would like to apply for a student (training/traineeship) in
>development construction department either as in machine design and
>material technology department 'since' (to slowo tutaj nie pasuje)
>01/07/2008 till 30/10/2008...Napisz to zdanie po polsku... .

Pragnę się ubiegać o staż w dziale rozwoju/konstrukcji (dosłownie tak jest to przedstawione nakł stronie internetowej a doadniej mówiąc jako: zajęcia praktyczne dot. rozwoju/konstrukcji), lub w dziale budowy maszyn i technologii materiałów(i tutaj tak samo: Zajęcia praktyczne w zakresie budowy maszyn i technologii materiałów) w terminie wolnym od zajęć tj od 1.07.2008 do 30.10.2008
at Technological Mechanical department on Technical and Information Technology Education field of study with emphasis in Technology of Machine Design' (tutaj tego jest za duzo - at the X faculty with a specialisation in....) (trzeba cos jeszcze o tym pomyslec)

To ma być mniej więcej tak: Jestem studentem wydziału mechanicznego technologicznego na kierunku Edukacja Techniczno Informatyczna o specjalizacji Technologia budowy maszyn.
I tutaj czy tłumaczenie Edukacja Techniczno Informatyczna jako Technical and Information Technology Education - bo według mnie jest to 'a little bit' naciągane.
Co do 'emphasis picking', żeby być szczerym teraz to czytam i sam dobrze nie wiem czemu użyłem tutaj takiego zwrotu, zapewne znalazłem go gdzieś w trakcie pisania tego listu i zapewne wtedy pasowało jak ulał... Chodzi tu o wybór specjalizacji, którą z tego powodu że byłem osobą z drugą średnią na roku wybierałem jako drugi.
It's like that: I am able to communicate in english, I mean to understand and to be understood, but sometimes i miss a word which is irreplaceable and then I am in a 'deep a**'. I think that competent user of english is that who i am now.
I know my english is full of mistakes especially in grammar and spelling, but i can't write a coverring letter and say that in it, can i?
>I would like to apply for a student INTERNSHIP in THE Development Construction Department 'either' (to jest mylace slowo- powinno byc OR in THE Machine Design and Material Technology Department DURING THE PERIOD 1.7.2008....
tylko to pomyslalam, ale moze nie jest dobrze.
>>at 'Technological Mechanical' (cos to mi tutaj nie gra) Department in the Faculty of Technical and Information Technology specialising in THE Technology of Machine Design.
I have made alteratrions that you suggested and now my covering letter looks like that:

Dear Madam or Sir,

I have reviewed XXX web site, and spoke to representative of your company at job fair organized by Silesian University of Technology in Gliwice on the 8th of March 2008, and am very enthusiastic about the positions advertised. I would like to apply for a student internship in in the Development Construction Department or in the Machine Design and Material Technology Department during the period 01/07/2008 till 30/10/2008.

I am a fourth year student at the Silesian University of Technology in Gliwice, at Technological Mechanical department at the Technical and Information Technology Education faculty with a specialisation in Technology of Machines Design. I am currently the second best student in my year and receive the highest possible scholarship available on my University. I am competent user of English in written and spoken modes.

I am motivating my willingness of intern in XXX company with possibility of develop my interests which are three dimension modeling and finding a new solutions in machines designs. I am seeking to complement my university experience with an internship in order to acquire the background necessary for a future career. Moreover this internship would provide me with the ideal opportunity to assist at your organization and to expand my skills.

My background, combined with my eagerness to learn more about machine design and construction, make me ideally suited for an internship with your organization. I would greatly appreciate an opportunity to meet you in person to discuss internship opportunities. Please feel free to call me at XXX or email me at XXX.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.


Tell me, please what do you think about it now.
i jeszcze jedno tym razem nie w kwestii językowej czy nie uważacie, że powinienem jeszcze coś dodać jakiś paragraf typu "I am able to both inividual and team work". Za wszelkie uwagi z góry wielkie dzięki.
I am motivating my willingness of internSHIP in XXX company with THE possibility of developING my interests which are three dimension modeling and finding 'a' (niepotr) new solutions in machines designs.
My background, combined with my eagerness to learn more about machine design and construction, make me ideally suited for an internship 'with' IN your organization.
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