odpowiedź na artykuł - proszę o sprawdzenie...

Wiem, że jest tu dużo błędów, bo zawsze jest jak coś napisze.. więc bardzo proszę o sprawdzenie.. to dla mnie bardzo ważne..

I'm writtins with regard to the article below in Tuesday's edition of the Westvate Herald. This article is about build lots of houses on Longheath Park. I'm totally opposed to this plan.
Firstly, natural environment is very important fot animal which live there. We should take care about animal and don't deprive their owns shelter. Who help their. if don't we?
Secondly in the world is very many houses and other build, which take off us the nature. Everywhere surrounding us building with concrete and a cars. The people haven't got where go and relax. This is very necessary. Obviously, we should fight about natural environment, because it is very good, not only for animal, but also for us.
I hope my points will be taken into consideration. The park which is neglect, can be only home for animals. We should think about it.

nie ma słowa writtins. writting też nie. sprawdź w słowniku jak się pisze to słówko, które chcesz.

...about building

for animals
and don't deprive them of their own shelter (animals - liczba mnoga)
Who will help them if we don't?

>Secondly in the world THERE ARE MANY houses and other build (build to jest czasownik), which take
>off us the nature.
Co ma znaczyć końcówka tego zdania?

Everywhere surrounding us building with concrete
>and a cars.
Everywhere we are surrounded by concrete buildings and cars. (nie tłumacz dosłownie z polskiego).

>>The people haven't got where go and relax.
People have nowhere to go to relax.

...fight for our natural environment.

dlaczego uparcie piszesz animal skoro Ci chodzi na pewno o zwierzęta a nie o jedno zwierzę?

The park which
>is neglect, can be only home for animals.
neglectED to jest zaniedbany. neglect to jest czasownik. Na pewno chcesz tu napisać "zaniedbany"?