Prośba o sprawdzenie opowiadania.

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Bardzo proszę o sprawdzenie mojego opowiadania. :) Proszę o poprawienie nie tylko błędów językowych ,ale również interpunkcyjnych , bo nie jestem pewien wszystkich znaków. Czy układ graficzny jest dobry? Czy w opowiadaniu wolno używać mi skrótów? Proszę o pomoc, bo muszę to oddać jutro. :)

When the classroom door opened , everybody went silent. Women in the red dress run into the classroom so quickly and closed the doors. It wasn’t our English teacher. I felt that it won’t be normal Monday at school…
Women introduced herself: ‘ My name is Lara. I will be your new home – room teacher. Everybody were surprised and scared. ‘ We have to go ‘She added. ‘ Where will we go? What happened with Ms Sanderson? ‘ I yelled but she didn’t answer.
She led us to the helicopter which was waiting for us behind the headmaster’s office. ‘We won’t go anywhere,’ shrieked Sarah and then we noticed that five big, black creature were staying near us. They didn’t look friendly and we terrified, so we decided to follow Lara. Several minute later, We were flying to New York. ‘ You ‘ are kidnapped ‘ she shrieked. Lara said too that she had kidnapped Ms Sanderson before we left our school.
‘ What will we do, now? ‘ I thought and suddenly I noticed that some small cell phone is lying under the bucket seat. I picked up it and sent a text message to the police. ‘ Not so fast Ms Lara. You won’t do anything with us, because the police knew about everything . You’re finished ‘ I sad. Everybody were screaming : ‘ We’re saved! .
Suddenly I heard my alarm clock and a strange voice. It yelled: ‘Bartek ! wake up! You will be late for school! ‘
A 'Women' (a ile tych kobiet bylo, tutaj l. poj a nie mnoga) in the
red dress 'run' RAN (czas teraz.) into the classroom so quickly and closed the doors. I felt that it 'won't' WOULD NOT be A normal Monday at school...
'Women' (dlaczego nie rozrozniasz l. poj od l. mnogiej) introduced herself: ' My name is Lara. I will be your new 'home-room' (bardzo dziwne-tego nie rozumiem, popraw) teacher. Everybody 'were' WAS surprised and scared.'
What happened 'with' TO Ms Sanderson?'
...we noticed that five big, black creatureS (bo 5 to l. mnoga)were 'staying' (daj inne slowo) near us. They didn't look friendly and we WERE terrified, so we decided to follow Lara.
Several minuteS later, 'We' (mala litera) were flying to New York. 'You' are
BEING kidnapped' she shrieked.
' What will we do, now? ' I thought and suddenly I noticed that some
small cell phone 'is' WAS lying under the bucket seat. I picked 'up it' (zla kol slow IT UP and sent a text message to the police.
You won't do anything with us, because the police 'knew' KNOW about everything . You're finished ' I 'sad' (popraw-ortog). Everybody 'were' WAS screaming:
Dziękuję bardzo za pomoc. :)

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Pomoc językowa - Sprawdzenie

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Pomoc językowa - Sprawdzenie