sprawdzenie wypracowania.

Cześć! Proszę Was, byście mi powiedzieli czy nie narobiłam byków :)

i jeszcze coś czego nie pamiętam: nie mogę znaleźć na tej stronie przypadków kiedy wpisujemy THE. wiecie, the mountain, the lake... z the czy bez the. czuję, że mam tu braki.

Dzięki :)





That day my life changed forever. Our local children’s hospital was on the budget and needed money to stay open. It was looming on the horizon. I had to find a way to get on top with a problem.
Right from the start I knew that I had to be at the helm of the enterprice of saving the hospital. I decided to do a sponsored walk along 90 km of the Great Wall of China. I didn’t expected what an incrediable personal challenge it would be. At the end of the first day I saw five thousands people! Everyone wanted to help and finally we rose funds.
After it was all over I realised that if people want something very much, together they are tend to skate over difficulties. That’s why I established the aid agency. Next year we’re planning to swim across Zegrze!

That day my life changed forever. Our local children's hospital ran the budget deficit and needed money to stay open. It's fate was looming on the horizon. I had to find a way to get on top with a solution.

And to follow the above with my "bite". :)

>...our local children's hospital was on A TIGHT budget….(wc, “on a tight
budget” is better - structure)
> It was looming on the horizon.(exp/sup/ my suggestion -The bankruptcy was
looming large and dark for the hospital.
> I had to find a way to GET ON TOP OF the problem.(idiom/ def.article )
> ..at the helm of enterpriSe ( sp."S")
> ..didn’t expectED (cut capitals)
> ..incredIble ..(sp."A")
> ..five thousandS (cut S)
> .. and finally we RAISED funds (not “rose”- “rise”- intr.v.)
> ..if people want something very much, together they are tend to SKATE OVER
difficulties. (ww/my suggestion - …they will surely be managed to
overcome difficulties they are in or …they usually manage …)

Abbreviations for Grammar and Diction Errors :

http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/cgalko/Abbreviations%20for%20Grammar%20and%20Diction%20Errors.htm

Though being rather much of a "tinkerer" than an expert on English I personally liked your piece.:)