rozprawka

Napisz rozprawkę na temat dobrych i złych stron życia w społeczeństwie wielokulturowym, w którym mieszają się narodowości, rasy i religie.

bardzo proszę o sprawdzenie rozprawki, z góry dziękuję!

Twenty-first century is the age of globalisation. Many people emigrating to different countries for various reasons, for example economic, social, political reasons. Around the world eliminates the boundaries, which allows easier access to other cultures. For this reason, a lot of cultures are mixed together to create an entirely new culture, characteristic of the new century.
Firstly, it is worth mentioning that this process has many advantages. There is a growing acceptance of other faiths, nationalities. All barriers disappear, the people closer to one another, and try to understand each other their problems against the background of social, religious. Nowadays we can see that many people migrate all over the world. Once, it was not possible, inter alia due to the closure of the world, now we are more tolerant. As an example, you can certainly make the Poles working in England, where are formed many associations of different cultures, different religions. Children of such compounds have an easier start in life, often at an early age are able to speak fluently in several languages. Stay abroad enables practical learning foreign languages, resulting in an additional opening to the world.
On the other hand we can see the wrong side of life in a multicultural society. There are many conflicts in the background, for example when it comes to Muslims living in Europe or the USA. In France, Muslims can not pray in public places, are partially discriminated against. Although we see progress towards the unification of the population, is still often condemn other religion or culture, while mocking them. One often hears in the media of different street fights, murders, caused by racism.
Living in a society where people live in different parts of the world is quite difficult. We should strive to understand other cultures, in keeping with their own. But only depends on us whether, in such a society will dominate the consent, or, therefore, have many new conflicts.

Twenty-first century 'is' too strong, lepiej...could be considered) the age of globalisation. Many people (ale tutaj cos brakuje) emigrating to different countries for various reasons, for example economic, social OR political reasons. 'Around the world eliminates the boundaries' (ale kto? co? bo tylko moge sie domyslac), which allows easier access to other cultures. For this
reason, a lot of cultures are 'mixed together' (poszukaj inne slowa - to nie babka ktora mieszamy) to create an entirely new culture, characteristic of the new century.
There is a growing acceptance of other faiths OR nationalities. All
barriers disappear, 'the people closer' (tu cos brakuje, albo po prostu nie lubiesz uzywac niektorych slow) to one another, and try to understand 'each other their problems' (pomysl co tu napisales i popraw) against the background of social, religious( ale co? social, religious CO?)
Once, it was not possible, (to jest nieprawda, bo ludzie zawsze emigrowali nawet w 18tym, 19tym wieku) 'inter alia' (calkocicie nie rozumiem dlaczego to tutaj uzywasz- co to niby ma znaczyc?) due to the 'closure of the world' (ale world to nie sklep open-close), 'now' (zle miejsce) we are NOW more tolerant. As an example, you can certainly 'make' (zle slowo- poszukaj inne) the Poles working in England, where THERE are formed many associations of different cultures OR different religions. (Jak cos wymieniasz, i napewno tak samo jest po polski, to przed ostatnim slowem dajesz cos, albo 'and' albo 'or') Children of such 'compounds' (calkowicie zle slowo) have an easier start in life, often at an early age (kto? co, tutaj brakuje THEY are able to speak fluently in several languages. StayING abroad enables practical learning OF foreign languages, resulting in an 'additional opening to the world' (dobrze, ale w jaki sposob- po prostu jak?).
On the other hand we can see the 'wrong side of life' (popraw, niema czegos takiego, ) in a multicultural society.
In France, Muslims can not pray in public places, are partially discriminated against. (no i co? nie dokonczyles zdania)
Although we see progress towards the unification of the population, 'is' (nie rozumiem dlaczego uzyles to slowo, tutaj w zdaniu cos brakuje, ono nie jest gram) still often condemn other religionS or cultureS, while mocking them.
We should strive to understand other cultures, in keeping 'with their own' (with their own WHAT?). But (ale co? nie piszesz) only depends on us whether, in such a society will dominate the consent, or, 'therefore' (calkowicie zle slkowo tutaj), (tutaj cos brakuje) have many new conflicts.

Twenty-first century 'is' too strong, lepiej...could be considered) the age of globalisation. Many people (ale tutaj cos brakuje)ARE emigrating to different countries for various reasons, for example economic, social OR political reasons. 'Around the world eliminating the boundaries, which allows easier access to other cultures. For this
reason, a lot of cultures are 'mixed together' INTERMIGLED? to create an entirely new culture, characteristic of the new century. There is a growing acceptance of other faiths OR nationalities. All barriers disappear, 'the people closer' THE PEOPLE ARE CLOSING to one another, and try to understand THEIR PROBLEMS against the background of social, religious conflicts. Nowadays we can see that many people more often migrate all over the world. Once, it was not possible, due to the lack of advanced technology. It was difficult to migrate through the ocean. As an example of migration, you can certainly SET AN EXAMPLE the Poles working in England, where THERE are formed many associations of different cultures OR different religions. Children of such relationships have an easier start in life, often at an early age THEY are able to speak fluently in several languages. StayING abroad enables practical learning OF foreign languages, resulting in an 'additional opening to the world' spending time with people of different culture.
On the other hand we can see the 'wrong aspect of life' in a multicultural society.
In France, Muslims can not pray in public places, are partially discriminated. Although we see progress towards the unification of the population, it 'is' still often condemn other religionS or cultureS, while mocking them.
We should strive to understand other cultures, in keeping 'with their own' culture. But it only depends on us whether, in such a society will dominate the consent, or we will have many new conflicts.

napisz to jeszcze raz uwzgledniajac wszystkie poprawki...
Zauwazylam to:

..Around the world eliminating the boundaries, which allows easier access to other cultures....to niestety nie jest zdaniem.
...All barriers disappear, 'the people closer' AS PEOPLE 'ARE' BECOME 'CLOSING' CLOSER to one another, and try to understand THEIR PROBLEMS against the background of social OR religious conflicts.
...As an example of migration, you can certainly 'SET AN EXAMPLE' (poiszesz glupoty - popraw) the Poles working in England, where 'THERE' THEY HAVE 'are' (niepotr) formed many associations of different cultures OR different religions