sprawdzenie kawałka tekstu

Cześć,
Zastanawiam się, czy mogę napisać w taki sposób końcówkę zdania

What’s more, surrogacy may become a tool for homosexuals. They are not able to have their own child because of adoption agencies prohibiting them from participating in the adoption process and that’s why they may use surrogacy instead.


I czy te zdanie jest poprawne?
All in all, although surrogates are women that can change the lives of others, human being should never be treated as an object that can be purchased.

Z góry dziękuje za pomoc

What’s more (napisałbym, Morover), surrogacy may become a tool for homosexuals. They are not able to have their own child (napisałbym children, bo dotyczczy wielu par) because of (because raczej nie pasuje, bo nie dlatego nie moga mieć własnych dzieci, że agencje ich wykluczają, więc bardziej pasuje "and") adoption agencies prohibiting (prohibit them) them from participating in the adoption process and that’s why they may use surrogacy instead.

Wygląda to na rozprawke/wypracowanie, więc nie stosujemy skrótów typu "that's'


All in all, although surrogates are women that can change the (bez "the") lives of others, human being should never be treated as an object that can be purchased.

are women that
_ human being

>>>>human being should never be treated as an object that can be purchased.
...to mnie zaciekawilo, bo przeciez wiemy, ze kazdy czlowiek moze byc kupiony - na koncu to przeciez jest tylko kwestia ceny.

o co chodzi??

nawet gdy jest poprawnie uzyte?