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There are main two situations, where listening to music through earphones, can be harmful or even dangerous.
Commuting, learning, reading and many more everyday activities are often accompanied by earphones. Music helps us to reduce the stress and simply relax. However many people listen to it too loudly, which can cause a temporary or even pernament hearing loss. Earphones play an important role in this process, as they provide a very intesive sound straight to the ear and this is why they can be extremely harmful.
Unfortunately there is even a bigger drawback of using earphones. People often e.g. cross the pedestrian crossing forgetting to make sure that a car is not coming up, simply because they are concetrated on music. In other words earphones can easily seperate us from the enviroment, which can cause very unpleasant consequences.
To sum up, listening to music through earphones can be a great way to relax, providing that we do not listen to it too loudly and we do not forget about the surroudings.

There are main two situations, szyk
Earphones play an important role in this process, as they provide a very intesive sound straight to the ear DRUM...
People often e.g. cross the pedestrian crossing STREET forgetting
simply because they are concetrated on music. ja bym dał 'distracted by'

Bardzo dziękuję !

Z poprawkami się zgadzam. Jest jeszcze kilka innych błędów. Na czarno miejsca, gdzie potrzeba poprawek:

There are two main situations where listening to music through earphones can be harmful, or even dangerous.
Commuting, learning, reading and many more everyday activities are often accompanied by earphones. Music helps us to reduce the stress and simply relax. However, many people listen to it too loudly, which can cause a temporary or even pernament hearing loss. Earphones play an important role in this process, as they provide a very intesive sound straight to the ear [+] and this is why they can be extremely harmful.
Unfortunately, there is an even bigger drawback of using earphones. People often e.g. cross the [+] forgetting to make sure that a car is not coming up, simply because they are concetrated on music. In other words, earphones can easily separate us from the environment, which can lead to very unpleasant consequences.
To sum up, listening to music through earphones can be a great way to relax, providing that we do not listen to it too loudly and we do not forget about the surroudings.

Również bardzo dziękuję za pomoc!

Jeszcze wiecej poprawek:

Commuting, learning, reading and many more everyday activities are often accompanied by earphones. (to zdanie, gdzy sie dobrze przeczyta niema sensu. reading moze byc accompanied by someone wearing/listening using earphones, ale to trzeba wyjasnic)
Music helps us to reduce' the' (nie za bardzo rozumiem dlaczego tutaj jest 'the' wg mnie niepotr) stress and (tutaj dodalabym slowo) simply relax. However, many people listen to it too loudly, which can cause a temporary or even 'pernament' (blad ortog) hearing loss. Earphones play an important role in this process, as they provide a very 'intesive' (ortog) sound straight to the ear and this is why they can be extremely harmful. (to zdanie ma plus i minus 'earphones, trzeba to napisac tak, zeby bylo zrozumiale).
People often 'e.g.' (nie, tego nie uzywa sie w ten sposob, tutaj ...for example) cross the (brak slowa) forgetting to make sure that a car is not 'coming up' (dlaczego 'up a nie 'down' cars moga jechac z dwuch stron), simply because they are 'concetrated' (ortog) (ale i tak jest zle, tutaj wg mnie...they concentrate) on music. In other words, earphones can easily separate us from the environment, (dla mnie lepsze slowo byloby 'reality') which can lead to very unpleasant consequences.
To sum up, listening to music through earphones can be a great way to relax, providing that we do not listen to it too loudly and we do not forget about the 'surroudings' (ortog)

Ale błędów narobiłem.. Dziękuję :)