Dziękuję za wskazanie mi błędów, ale prosze sprawdźcie ten tekst jeszcze raz. Bo wydaje mi się że coś jeszcz jest nie tak. Może teraz pod kątem słownictwa. Czy wszytko pasuje do siebie...
Dla kontrastu wstawię pracę (to wspomnianą pierwszą kontynuacje) za którą dostałem 1.
Oto ona:
I felt that I had realized my goals. However, after a moth I learned that Luke had escaped from the prison killing two guards. I wanted to prevent my wife from knowing this, but it was too late… The media spread the news all over England. It was too much for Valerie. She overdosed PANADOL® and fell in coma. I stared to collapse. I felt as if God abandoned me. I even started to doubt whether God had ever existed. I wanted to revenge on the whole world for my suffering.
I decided that I will track Luke down and remove him form the society once and for all. It took me three months to find out where he was staying. I waited for him with I knife. I wanted him to die like Johnny – stabbed in the heart. However, when the moment came I just couldn’t do it. I walked away and I let the police to take actions. Although Luke was captured and sentenced to death, I couldn’t forgive myself for not seizing the opportunity. It led to my alcohol problems. It wasn’t long after I landed on the street.
And then came he, my redeemer. His name was John - what a coincidence – and it turned out that he was a priest. He gave me a hand, pulled me out from my misery. Thanks to him I returned to God, because as I later discovered He never walk out on me. When I finally stood back on my feet I went to see my beloved wife, who was still in coma. It was one year since I last saw her. When I came into the room I saw her lying helpless on the bed. At that moment I again doubted in God’s existence. But when I touched Valerie’s hand a miracle happened – she woke up.
Afterwards Valerie and I decided to start an organization which helps families whose children had been murdered. Thanks to the assistance of father John, in a year time we extended our field. We had understood that helping victims was not enough, so we stared to help potential thugs by showing them attention, which they hadn’t received form anyone before.
It has been ten years now, since Johnny had died. The wounds had healed, but the emptiness remained. I only hope that thanks to our efforts many innocent lives have been saved.
Tego nie musicie poprawiać, wystarczy że napiszecie mi że widać błędy :-)
Myślałem że napisałem zajebistą kontynuacje ale się przeliczyłem.
Więc prosze poszukajcie jeszcze możliwych błędów w pracy którą zamieściłem jako pierwszą.