"Niepokonani"Perfect - Unbeaten?

Please - help me with checking this translation- I know it has many mistakes - but my English just isn`t great- I love this song so much that I want to show it to all my friens all around the world.Thanks so much

When emotions will subside
Like after huge battle dust
When any power cannot
The screamed words call off(withdraw)
Shall I in the silence of white dirty (shameful)flags
Quit the barricade
Or to be similar to the rock
And sprinkle ache with salt
Like a statue of pride stay alone

When someone who is light for me
Wear away suddenly in broad daylight
When on my way behind the corner
The destination will meet me
Shall I in powerless anger,
swallowing grudge
let them to kick me off
or shall I play with every minute
and to the end have faith that
other fate is meant for me.

We are sailing through Great Babylon
Until the love will not catch us
In the rich mixture of the senses
We can stay unbeaten
Until our fire will fade
And ocean of our dreams
With spoon can be measured

We must know when to quit the scene
Unbeaten
Among the rubbish(trash) to gleam like a diamond
And to be the puzzle which nobody
Will manage to guess until the time will be over.

Gdy emocje już opadną
Jak po wielkiej bitwie kurz
Gdy nie można mocą żadną
Wykrzyczanych cofnąć słów
Czy w milczeniu białych haniebnych flag
Zejść z barykady
Czy podobnym być do skały
Posypując solą ból
Jak posag pychy samotnie stać

Gdy ktoś kto mi jest światełkiem
Gaśnie nagle w biały dzień
Gdy na drodze za zakrętem
Przeznaczenie spotka mnie
Czy w bezsilnej zŁości łykajac żal
Dać się powalić
Czy się każdą chwilą bawić
Aż do końca wierząc że
Los inny nam pisany jest

Płyniemy przez wielki Babilon
Dopoki miłość nie złowi nas
W korowodzie zmysłów możemy trwać
niepokonani
Nim się ogień w nas wypali
Nim ocean naszych snów
Łyżeczką się odmierzyć da

Trzaba wiedzieć kiedy ze sceny zejść
Niepokonanym
Wśród tandety lśniąc jak diament
Być zagadką, ktorej nikt
Nie zdąrzy zgadnąć nim minie czas

weroniko,
widac, ze tlumaczylas, slowo w slowo - a trzeba pamietac o konstrukcji jez.
When emotions will subside >Like after huge battle dust - lepiej -like the dust after a huge battle -
>When any power cannot >The screamed words call off(withdraw) - when the screamed words cannot be retracted by any almighty power -
trzeba dostosowac nie tylko odpowiednie slowa, ale starac sie, zeby mniej wiecej ten sam sens przekazac.
W wersji ang. trudno zrozumiec o co chodzi.

Thanks Terri for your help, every hint is welcome:) Btw translating text where every single word in Polish is just "perfect" is really difficult- I just don`t want to correct the master. I'm too emotionaly related to it, but of course every language expects some changes in structure of the sentence and the same is with English, so thanks once again for your objective opinion . I didn't even thought that anybody will answer it so fast.rnAll the best for u.(I`m writting in English because it is"Only English "part of the forum but I find Polish as even prettier language:)especially in this song)

sorry - should have written in English.
But there are 'perfect' words in English which would fit - it's just a matter of finding them - sometimes people take weeks or even months to get such things just right.

I think thats just a matter of practice - when u read in English or talk in English every day its easier to find the right words- I`m trying to improve my English to be able to show abroad how Polish coulture is beautiful- and I think its the right attitude.I hope I'm not the only one...

Yes, this is the right attitude, because if we can't explain to others what it is that makes the Polish culture so beautiful - they will never know.

When emotions subside
as dust after a great battle
When no power will allow
to recall shouted words
Shall I in the silence of shameful white flags
leave the barricade
Or be similar to a rock
And sprinkle wounds with salt
and as a statue of pride stand alone

When someone who is a light to me
suddenly fades in broad daylight
When around the corner
destination will come my way
Shall I in powerless anger,
swallowing resent
let them make me fall
or shall I play with every minute
and to the end have faith that
another fate is meant for me.

We are sailing through Great Babylon
Until love catches us
In the rich mixture of the senses
We remain invincible
Until our fire fades
And the ocean of our dreams
can be measured with a spoon

We must know when to quit the scene
invincible
to gleam like a diamond among the rubbish
And to be a puzzle which nobody
Will manage to guess until the end of time.

Transtaing lyrics from POlish into English is the most intricate task and you should know, that not only words are important but rhyms as well. The second message (thoughts)that you want to convey should meet natural tone as the English or the American people are using in they lyrics everyday.

It's not as simple as seems to be. Be patient and try to improve your English for the future usage. I hope that your persistense pay off and you reach what in a way is an unreachable for you now.

Knowingly push more, if you are self-motivated you may attain skills nobody has in translating things.

Wishin' you best of the good luck, I hope to see your lyrics translations in a few years.

Cheers.