"straszna historia" - wypowiedź ustna.

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
witam. ;) zadano mi napisanie speechu, której tematem powinna być straszna historia - moja raczej do bardzo strasznych nie niależy, niestety nie potrafiłam wymyśleć lepszej fabuły, ale starałam się, jak tylko mogłam. baaaardzo proszę o sprawdzenie i korektę, jest to dla mnie bardzo istotne.

Ladies and gentlemen, take a deep breath and listen to my story. The story, which has never been spoken. Keep calm and be all ears.
One really lovely, summer evening the mayor of the town where I lived, organised a masquerade ball. I was in heaven that he invited all the citizens. Me abd my friends dressed up carefully and we ran like the wind at the party. All people enjoyed this night. The food was delicious and the music - delightful. Suddenly I noticed a little girl in the corner. She was weeping. I realised that she was alone. She looked really strange - her skin was deadly pale, she had white hair and a white dress. Only her eyes were different. She had furiously red eyes. Then I thought that maybe it was her fancy dress, but even my friends took note of her. My dear friend John decided to talk with her, but she didn't listen to him. Then John to catch her eyes, cought her hand. She looked at him with anger. Her tought burnt John! She started to scream so loud that everybody stared at her. She shouted something like "Dad! Where is my dad!" all the time, but I'm not sure, the music was also loud. Few thoughtful women tried to becalmed her, but by one touch the girl kill them. People saw it and started to freak out. The wanted to escape from this terryfing place, but all the dors and windows were closed. All the ballroom cought on fire. All people inside died. Nobody survive. This girl who turned this masquerade ball into hell was the ghost of mayor's daughter. This was a revenge. The mayor hurt his only child in the car accident. He was drunk that night. The girl was bleeding bad, she was half-dead. The man afraid of the consequences like loosing his high position as mayor, he faked a fire in this house where he left the daughter body. He burnt her alive. The girl's soul was wandered till the mayor received the punishment. Because of him lots of innocent people died.
bardzo proszę o Waszą pomoc, strasznie mi na tym zależy! :)
I was overjoyed because he invited...
ran.. to the party
everyone enjoyed that night
took notice
John caught her hand to catch...
tought?
a few
calm her down
kill, survive - bezokolicznik?
drzwi z literowka
the mayor's
had hurt - przeciez nie tej nocy
losing
usun 'the man'
the house.. had left... daughter's
byla błąkana?

Cytat:
The story, which has never been spoken.

Ja bym zastapil innymi.
zgadza sie
a story that has never before been told
wypadlo mi z pamieci :-)
ok, rozumiem. dziękuję.
w przedostatnim zdaniu chodziło mi o to, że dusza dziewczynki błąkała się (nie zaznała spokoju etc)...
a napisalas 'była błąkana' w stronie biernej. usun was
grabbed her hand to get her attention /sugg/
poprawiłam. dziękuję bardzo. :)
Temat przeniesiony do archwium.

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