Paragraf na około 100 słów.

Witam.
Proszę o sprawdzenie paragrafu.
'Napisz paragraf na około 100 słów o prezencie, który dałeś lub dostałeś.'

(Nie wiem czy zrobiłby się akapit, więc wstawiłem kropki.)
Pierwszy tekst jest z moimi pytaniami, wątpliwościami, drugi bez, żeby było wygodniej czytać.

..........I received a new camera yesterday, photography is my passion. I needed a new camera because I could not make a high resolution photos (to jest potoczne?) in my last camera (może tak być, czy to jest powtórzenie? Jak inaczej mógłbym zastąpić ewentualnie to słowo?). This stuff (to jest potoczne?) which my mom gave to me is so much better than my previous camera (i znów camera, ale jak mam inaczej to niby napisać?). Now I can develop my skills and make better photos which give me a chance to be seen by some magazine and by this provide me a well paid job. 70 słów (Teraz chcę napisać, że gdyby tak się stało to byłoby to moje spełnienie marzeń, wiem, że coś z ‘dream come true’, ale nie wiem za bardzo jak to napisać). If this scenario will be done my dream come true. Photography is my passion since I was eight and received my first camera on my birthday. I love catching beautiful and interesting (oblicza? Słownik podpowiada face, chodzi mi o uchwytywanie oblicz natury) faces of nature.

I received a new camera yesterday, photography is my passion. I needed a new camera because I could not make a high resolution in my last camera. This stuff which my mom gave to me is so much better than my previous. Now I can develop my skills and make better photos which give me a chance to be seen by some magazine and by this provide me a well paid job. If this scenario will be done my dream come true. Photography is my passion since I was eight and received my first camera on my birthday. I love catching beautiful and interesting faces of nature.

W które zdania mogę wkleść słowa 'but' i 'and' z przecinkami?

I received a new camera yesterday, (tutaj dalabym AS) photography is my passion. I needed a new camera because I could not 'make' (mnie to slowo sie tutaj niepodoba) a high resolution (ale co? nie rozumiem co to HR?) in my last camera. 'This stuff' (co to jest? Tos to ani po jakiemu? napisz to prawidlowo-tak jak ma byc) which my mom gave 'to' (niepotr) me is so much better than my previous (ale co? present? camera? czy ja mam zgadywac?) . Now I can develop my skills and 'make' (you TAKE photos not 'make') better photos which 'give' (tutaj masz zle, bo to ma byc 3os.l.poj. Co? IT-?) me a chance to be seen by 'some' (Culture Life? History Today? Jaki?) magazine and by this (tu cos brakuje) provide me (tutaj cos brakuje) a well paid job. If this scenario 'will be done' (nie jestesmy w kosciele - tutaj napisz inaczej) my dream (tu cos brak) come true. Photography 'is' (zmien) my passion since I was eight and received my first camera on my birthday. I love 'catching' (ja dalabym tutaj 'capturing) beautiful and interesting faces of nature.

Dziękuję za pomoc, poprawiłem.
high resolution pictures miało być. Zdjęcia w wysokiej rozdzielczości. Zjadłem pictures.

I received a new camera yesterday, as photography is my passion. I needed a new camera because I could not take a high resolution photographs in my last camera. This camera (no i mam powtórzenie) which my mom gave me is so much better than my previous camera (znowu powtórzenie, a tego nie da się zastąpić, nie ma synonimów). Now I can develop my skills and take better photographies which gave me a chance to be seen by some magazine about photography, (przecinek potrzebny?) and by this could provide me (mam 'a', co brakuje?) a well paid job. If this scenario will come my dream will come true. Photography 'is' (dlaczego? mam zmienić na 'was'? jest pasją, a nie było) my passion since I was eight and received my first camera on my birthday. I love capturing beautiful and interesting faces of nature.

I jeszcze jeden paragraf, który mam poprawić i dodać coś od siebie z użyciem wyobraźni (sami tego chcieli).
Pewnie przesadziłem z treścią tu zawartą, ale tak mi podpowiadała wyobraźnia, poza tym to tylko abstrakcyjny scenariusz, więc chyba nic złego... Było też napisane żebym 'uciekawił' tekst. Według mnie jest dość ciekawy...
'This is an imaginary place, so use your imagination!' So I used it.

A Horrible Hotel
I have never been in such bad hotel. The rooms are small, dark, dirty, and there is no air-conditioning. Inside the room is hot in summer, and there is no heating. In winter the rooms are cold. There are big windows, and the view through it is terrible. Outside I could see at every night a graveyard and necromancers who dig graves and arrange a swastika from bones, then pour this by petrol and burn it. After this they are celebrating their black sabbath and connecting with Adolf Hitler in spiritical meeting to get the instructions how to conquer the world and make his plan true. That is why I want to warn you never to stay in this hotel.

I needed a new camera because I could not take 'a' (po co tu masz przedimek 'a', jak to odnosi sie do l.mmn-photographs?) high resolution photographs in my last camera. This 'camera' (to mozesz napisac 'present' which my mom gave me is so much better than my previous 'camera' (tutaj daj 'one').
Now I can develop my skills and take better 'photographies' (hello - co to jest?) which 'gave' GIVES (nie krec, jak juz wczesniej napisalam, ze to ma byc 3os.l.poj - nie mysl, ze wiesz lepiej ode mnie, bo to nie dziala) me a chance to be seen by 'some magazine about photography' (a dlaczego nie napisales'photographic magazine' zpstawiles to jak bylo, chcociaz dalam Ci do zrozumienia ze to jest zle) (przed 'and' z reguly nie dajemy przecinka, to jest nowosc wtloczona przez 'niby' podantow - ale to jest zle) and by this could provide me (mam 'a', co brakuje?WITH-z) a well paid job. If this scenario 'will come' (tutaj jest zl;e, ma byc 'OCCURS) my dreams will come true. Photography 'is' (dlaczego? mam zmienić na 'was'- BO nie masz zmienic na 'was' tylko no HAS BEEN)? jest pasją, a nie było) my passion since I was eight and received my first camera on my birthday.

I have never been in such (a gdzie przedimek? Uciekl, bo sie bal?) bad hotel. The rooms are small, dark, dirty(,) (nie rozumeim uzywania przecinka przed 'and'-prosze dac mi zrodlo tego phenomenon) and there is no air-conditioning. Inside the room is hot in summer(,) and there is no heating (ale 'in summer' niepotrzeba heating) .
There are big windows, and the view through 'it' (do czego to 'it' sie odnosi, bo 'it' to l. poj) is terrible. Outside I could see 'at' (niepotr, ale zdanie masz odwrotnie....Every night, outside, I...) 'every night' (w zlym miejscu) a graveyard and necromancers who dig graves and arrange a swastika from bones, then pour 'this by petrol' (tu masz zle, bo chcesz powiedziec ...bezyna jest polana na to) and burn it. After this they 'are celebrating' (zly czas) their black sabbath and 'connecting' (zly czas) with Adolf Hitler in 'spiritical' (ortog) meeting to get the instructions (tu cos brak) how to conquer the world and make his plan (tu cos brak) true.

Dziękuję bardzo :).
Naniosłem poprawki, teraz wszystko ok?

I needed a new camera because I could not take high resolution photographs in my last camera. This present which my mom gave me is so much better than my previous one (na pewno będzie dobrze? mi chodzi, że jest lepszy od poprzedniego aparatu, a nie od ostatniego prezentu).
Now I can develop my skills and take better photos which gives me a chance to be seen by photographic magazine (wcześniej zmieniłem zdanie) and by this could provide me with a well paid job. If this scenario occurs my dreams will come true. Photography has been my passion since I was eight and received my first camera on my birthday.


I have never been in such a bad hotel. The rooms are small, dark, dirty and there is no air-conditioning. Inside the room is hot in summer and there is no heating (to jest zdanie, które już było, ja miałem dodać początek, rozwinięcie po widoku z okna oraz końcówkę, więc nie moja wina) .
There are big windows, and the view through 'it' (odnosi się do okna. okna są duże, a widok przez jedno z nich, które mam w pokoju) is terrible. Every night, outside, I see a graveyard and necromancers who dig graves and arrange a swastika from bones, then pour this by petrol and burn it. After this they celebrate their black sabbath and connect with Adolf Hitler in spiritistic seance (lepiej niż meeting moim zdaniem) to get the instructions about how to conquer the world and make his plan come true.