E-mail formalny jako praca domowa z angielskiego

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Hejka. Miałam do napisania email formalny po angielsku jako pracę domową. I napisałam, a jakże, ale bardzo bym chciała, żeby ktoś mi go sprawdził. Sama sprawdzałam już wiele razy, ale sama często nie widzę swoich błędów, więc dobrze by było, gdyby ktoś świeżym okiem na to spojrzał i mnie poprawił. Z góry wielkie dzięki. Aha, i proszę o nie kopiowanie i nie rozpowszechnianie mojego listu.

Dear Sir,

My name is XYZ* and I am 17. I am writting to you in connection with your advertisement about ‘Go-Getters’ – working holiday in Scotland. I am wondering if you could answer a few my questions, because I am interested in this proposition.

First, would you please tell me when this working holiday starts and how long it takes? I am particulary interested in taking part at the turn of July and August and I am wondering if it is possible. Would you be so kind as to acquaint me what will the weather be? It is important for me, because I have never been in Scotland.

Second, your advertisement states that we will earn some money during the camp and I am wondering if you mind telling me how much it will be. I am also interested if there are any age restrictions. I am 17 and I would be grateful if you could tell me if I could work there in this age. Could you also let me know how old that disabled children which I will be looked after are?

Finally, in your advertisement you mention that this job will be a great chance to learn the language. Would you mind telling me what this language is exactly? I am interested in learning scots gaelic and I am wondering if this one will be taught.

Thank you in advance for your help. Please reply as soon as possible.

Yours faithfully,
XYZ*

*nie chciałam pisać swojego prawdziwego nazwiska
I am writting to you in connection with your advertisement about ‘Go-Getters’ – (tutaj dodalabym przedimek 'a') working holiday in Scotland. I am wondering if you could answer a few OF my questions, because I am interested in this 'proposition' (cos to slowo mi nie za bardzo pasuje tutaj).

FirstLY, 'would' (dla mnie tutaj 'could' by lepiej pasowalo) you please tell me when this working holiday starts and how long it takes? I am particulary interested in taking part at the turn of July and August and 'I am wondering' (wystarczy 'wonder') if it is possible. Would you 'be so kind as to' (troche 'lizajaco', wystarczy kindly') 'acquaint' (to slowo tutaj nie pasuje - poszukaj inne znaczace to samo) me what 'will' (w zlym miejscu) the weather WILL be LIKE ? It is important for me, because I have never been 'in' TO Scotland.

SecondLY, your advertisement states that we will 'earn some money' (to mozna inaczej - receive payment?) during the camp and 'I am wondering' (napisz to inaczej...with this in mind) (napisz tutaj 'could you') 'if you mind telling' TELL me how much 'it' THAT 'will' WOULD be. I 'am also interested' (napisz to inaczej...need to ascertain) if there are any age restrictions, AS I am ONLY 17 and 'I would be grateful if you could tell me' (niepotr- wystarczy 'wonder') if I could work there 'in' AR this age. Could you also let me know how old 'that' (CO? tutaj THE) disabled children which I will be 'looked' LOOKING after are?

'Would you mind telling me' (to jest za dlugiw - i za bardzo formalne) 'what' WHICH 'this' (niepotr) language THIS is exactly? I am interested in learning Scots Gaelic (duza litera - nazwa wlasna) and I 'am wondering' (wonder) if this IS THE one THAT will be taught.

Thank you in advance for your help. 'Please reply as soon as possible' (to jest nieladnie - lepiej I look forward to your early reply).

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