esej - zawód, w którym kobieta/mężczyzna lepiej się sprawdzają

Hej! Miałam długą przerwę w nauce języka, zatem chciałabym poprosić o pomoc. Napisałam krótki esej, w którym postarałam się wytłumaczyć, dlaczego uważam, że mężczyźni są lepszymi detektywami, niż kobiety. Mam nadzieję, że będzie to w miarę zrozumiałe. Proszę o poprawienie błędów, a także, jeśli to możliwe, o poddanie mi pomysłu, co jeszcze mogłabym dodać. Z góry dziękuję.

I chose the profession called detective and also private investigator. This kind of job involves with so many dangerous situation. However, it’s very interesting profession.
I think that men are better detectives than woman. Why? Firstly, because men can keep secrets to themselves. They don’t talk too much, but they are good at listening. Secondly, male detectives stay calm in stressful situations. Thirdly, they take decisions quickly. Men are better organized. They work according to the plan. In addition men do a lot of sport, thus they have high physical fitness.
One the other hand, woman pay more attention to detail. They are self-willed. It makes that woman reach quicker to their aims. Woman also manipulate others, which is useful to this kind of job.
On balance, in my opinion men are better detectives and private investigations, despite the fact that I am a woman. Woman usually aren’t enough self-controlled and they have problems with take decisions quickly (even decisions about their outfits).

I chose (to write about) the profession 'called' (zle slowo, tutaj wystarczy OF) detective and also private investigator. This kind of job involves 'with so' (niepotr) many dangerous 'situation' (ale jak 'many, to tu powinna byc l. mnoga). However, it’s (brak przedimka) very interesting profession.
I think that men are better detectives than 'woman' (tutaj ma byc l. mn). Why? Firstly, because men can keep secrets 'to themselves' (wg mnie niepotr).
They work according to 'the' (chociaz wg mnie tu tez moze byc 'a') plan. In addition men do a lot of sport, thus they have highLY (developed) physical fitness.
One the other hand, 'woman' (tu ma byc l.mn.) pay more attention to detail.
It 'makes' (daj inne slowo, tutaj zamiast 'robi' to daj 'wspomaga') that 'woman' (ma byc l. mnoga) reach 'quicker to their aims' (zla kol slow, najpierw co a pozniej jak). (przedimek) woman (daj tutaj modal) also manipulate others, which is useful 'to' IN this kind of job.
On balance, in my opinion men are better detectives and private 'investigations' (zle slowo), despite the fact that I am a woman. 'Woman' (daj l. mnoga) usually aren’t 'enough' (zle slowo, daj inne, np calkowicie) self-controlled and they have problems with 'take' (zle slowo) decisions quickly (even decisions about their outfits).

Poprawiłam i mam nadzieję, że teraz jest dobrze. Jednak mam 2 problemy.

I chose to write about the profession of detective and also private investigator. This kind of job involves with many dangerous situations. However, it’s a very interesting profession.
I think that men are better detectives than women. Why? Firstly, because men can keep secrets. They don’t talk too much, but they are good at listening. Secondly, male detectives stay calm in stressful situations. Thirdly, they take decisions quickly. Men are better organized. They work according to a plan. In addition men do a lot of sport, thus they have highly physical fitness.
One the other hand, women pay more attention to detail. They are self-willed. It helps them reach to their aims quicker. 1Women can manipulate others, which is useful in this kind of job.
On balance, in my opinion men are better detectives and private investigators, despite the fact that I am a woman. Women usually aren’t enough self-controlled and they have problems with 2take decisions quickly (even decisions about their outfits).
1. Zamiast przedimka dałam liczbę mnogą.
2. Dlaczego ‘take’ tu nie może być?

1 dobrze
w 2 terri Ci powiedziała żebyś użyla czegos zamiast enough, poza tym musisz napisać taking decisions quickly (albo making)

Czy mozna wyrazic ze ktos nie jest self-controlled, czy moze np. ze nie ma self-control?

O, K. dzięki. Nie wiem co dać zamiast enough, zatem po prostu wykasuję to słowo x

Albo dam "quite" w to miejsce..