Mógłby ktoś sprawdzić rozprawkę? Z góry dziękuję za pomoc.

The internet - a blessing or a curse

There has been a lot of discussion in the media on the internet. Although the internet make our lives easier, there are also some obvious
drawbacks involved.

The most important advantage of the internet is a large source of various information that we can gain even in several seconds.
A further advantage of internet is unlimited contact with people, we can talked with different people by means of programs,
for example skype and facebook. Moreover, people can order transactions thanks to an internet connection. Besides, we can download
favourite games and MP3 files. The statistical data shows that the internet function almost everywhere.

On the other hand, the Internet has also it is drawbacks. The most important disadvantage is ilness which there are many people
addicted to the Internet. They need to surf many hours forgetting about everything.
An additional disadvantage of the internet is pornographic. Many people and childs are coming to the pornographic stories.
This is very dangerous. The latest medical research indicates that more one person on ten becomes a criminal.
Last but not least argument is artists are upset because the internet provides their music online at no charge to consumers.

All in all, the internet is good things who will must deal serious. People aren't spending too much time in the internet.
To my mind, the childs must be restricted by parental control.

XYZ

Mógłby mi ktoś pomóc? :)

Ponawiam prośbę.

Some issues to ponder;)
There has been a lot of discussion in the media on TO MOŻE ZNACZYC ŻE DYSKUSJA JEST PROWADZONA NA INTERNECIE;) the internet. Although the internet make TRZECIA OSOBA our lives easier, there are also some obvious drawbacks involved.
The most important advantage of the internet is a large source of various information that we can gain even in several seconds.
A further advantage of internet is unlimited contact with people, we can talked with different people by means of programs, for example skype and facebook. Moreover, people can order transactions thanks to an internet connection. Besides, we can download favourite games and MP3 files. The statistical data shows that the internet function almost everywhere.
On the other hand, the Internet has also it is drawbacks. The most important disadvantage is ilness which there are many people addicted to the Internet. They need to surf many hours forgetting about everything. /???/
An additional disadvantage of the internet is THE pornographic CONTENT /np/. Many people and childs are coming EXPOSED /np/ to the pornographic stories.
This is very dangerous. The latest medical research indicates that more one person on ten becomes a criminal.
Last but not least argument is artists are upset because the internet provides their music online at no charge to consumers.
All in all, the internet is good things who will must deal serious. People aren't spending too much time in the internet.
To my mind, the childs must be restricted by parental control.
+ wciąż inne błędy;)

There has been a lot of discussion in the media on the internet. Although the internet made our lives easier, there are also some obvious
drawbacks.

The most important advantage of the internet is a large source of various information that we can gain even in several seconds.
A further advantage of internet is unlimited contact with people, we can talked with different people by means of programs,
for example skype and facebook. Moreover, people can order transactions thanks to an internet connection. Besides, we can download
favourite games and MP3 files. The statistical data shows that the internet function almost everywhere

On the other hand, the Internet has also it is drawbacks. Many people addicted to it and they waste their time on chats
and different web portals. They need to surf many hours forgetting about everything.
An additional disadvantage of the internet is the pornographic content. Many people and children are come exposed
to the pornographic stories.
This is very dangerous. The latest medical research indicates that more one person of ten becomes a criminal.
Last but not least argument is artists are upset because the internet provides their music online at no charge to consumers.

All in all, the internet is good things who will must deal serious. People aren't spending too much time in the internet.
To my mind, the children must be restricted by parental control.

Parę rzeczy poprawiłem, jednak nie wiem co dokładnie zrobiłem przy niektórych podkreśleniach.
Gdy robiłem notatki z lekcji to takie zwroty jak to: "people can order transactions thanks to an internet connection" niby są poprawne :) dzięki wielkie za pomoc.
Jeszcze gdybyś mógł wygarnąć te "inne błędy" byłbym wdzięczny

@wajdzik233, jak będzie make w trzeciej osobie? Pierwsze zdanie wciąż źle brzmi, imo. Ja bym dał O internecie /np/

...we can talked with different...
Po CAN nie zmieniasz formy czasownika;)
that the internet function almost everywhere znów 3cia osoba;)
Many people and children are come exposed to the pornographic stories np SITES albo IMAGES. wyrzuć COME, można zastąpić ARE na GET;)

Po "can" nie zmieniamy formy czasownika, zapamiętam.

Dzięki wielkie, poprawki naniesione. Biorę się za kolejną w takim razie :)

Pozdrawiam

nie zmieniamy, bo to jest czasownik modalny

he may/might/could/can/would do something