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Dear Sir/Madame
I am writing in connection with your job advert for Student Hospitality Programme in Spain which appeared in the latest edition edition of Gap Year Earners. I am interested in working as an aerobic instructor.
I am an eighteen-year-old Polish student and I am I second class at II. High School. I am due to start a sport science degree at School of Physical Education in 2016. Meanwhile, however, I want to combine traveling with gaining work experience, so I believe I am well suited for this position.
I thing that I am a strong candidate for job aerobic instructor. For the last four year I have done a lot of sport courses: personal trainer, aerobic and Zumba instructor. In that time I have passed pedagogical course so I can work with people of all ages.
Apart from this, I am mature, easy-going and charismatic. On the pedagogical course I have learnt how to motivate and encourage people. I am acquainted with a lot of sport style and I want to devolve my abilities to others people, with great enthusiasm, of course. I am also extremely interested in sport disciplines and it was my childhood dream to be an aerobic instructor, because my mother was sending me on dance lessons and from these early experiences as a child I learned to love sport. I consider myself to be adaptable and able to conform individual exercise to everybody.
I would be wondering attend an interviews at your earliest convenience.
I attach my CV along with the names of two references.
Yours faithfully,
XYZ

Dear Sir/'Madame ', (nie, slowo jest MADAM)

I am an 'eighteen' (mozna 18)-year-old Polish student and I am 'I' (co to?) second 'class' YEAR at 'II.' (nie rozumiem tego) OF High School. I am due to start a sport science degree at (przedimek) School of Physical Education in 2016. Meanwhile, however, I want to combine traveling with gaining work experience.,' so I believe I am well suited for this position' (cos tgakiego bardzo nie lubie, o tym czy jestes 'suited', to oni maja prawo decydowac, a nie ty).
I 'thing' (popraw) that I am a strong candidate for (przedimek) job (tu brak 2 slowa) aerobic instructor. For the last four 'year' (tutaj l. mnoga - to sa glupie bledy - dlaczego takie jeszcze robisz?) I have 'done' (to jest za niskie slowo na taki list - potrzeba troche powazniejsze, wyzsze slowo) a lot of sport courses: personal trainer, aerobic and Zumba instructor. 'In that time' (cos mi tu nie tak z tym) I have passed (przedimek) 'pedagogical' (malo ludzi bedzie wiedzialo co to jest - trzeba dokladnie napisac) course so I can work with people of all ages.
On the 'pedagogical' (napisz to inaczej) course I have learnt how to motivate and encourage people. I am acquainted with a lot of sport 'style' (drugi raz to samo, tutaj ma byc l. mnoga) and I want to 'devolve' (zle slowo) my abilities to others people, with great enthusiasm, of course. I am also extremely interested in sport disciplines and it was my childhood dream to be an aerobic instructor. (tu ma byc koniec zdania. Pozniej jak chcesz to mozesz cos napisac o dziecinstwie, chociaz to trzeba ujac inaczej) 'because' (niepotr) 'My mother was sending me on' (a dlaczego nie pomyslalas, ze lepiej napisac jest ...As a child I attended?) dance lessons and from these early experiences as a child I learned to love sport. I consider myself to be adaptable and able to 'conform' (poszukaj inne slowo) individual exercise to everybody.
I would be 'wondering' (calkowicie zle slowo) (cos brak) attend an 'interviews' (tutaj ma byc l. poj bo masz przedimek) at your earliest convenience.
I attach my CV along with the names of two 'references.' (nie, tutaj ma byc 'referees')

czy tak lepiej? zwrotu "I believe I am well suited for this position. " nie musiałam usuwać, bo był nawet w podręczniku użyty .:)

Dear Sir/Madam
I am writing in connection with your job advert for Student Hospitality Programme in Spain which appeared in the latest edition edition of Gap Year Earners. I am interested in working as an aerobic instructor.
I am an eighteen-year-old Polish student and I am second year of High School. I am due to start a sport science degree at a School of Physical Education in 2016. Meanwhile, however, I want to combine traveling with gaining work experience, so I believe I am well suited for this position.
I think that I am a strong candidate for a job: aerobic instructor. For the last four years I have done a lot of sport courses: personal trainer, aerobic and Zumba instructor. During that time I have passed first aide course so I can work safely with people of all ages.
Apart from this, I am mature, easy-going and charismatic. On the personal trainer course I have learnt how to motivate and encourage people. I am acquainted with a lot of sport styles and I want to release my abilities to others people, with great enthusiasm, of course. I am also extremely interested in sport disciplines and it was my childhood dream to be an aerobic instructor. As a child I attended dance lessons and from these early experiences as a child I learned to love sport. I consider myself to be adaptable and able to adapt individual exercise to everybody.
I would be glad attend an interview at your earliest convenience.
I attach my CV along with the names of two referees.
Yours faithfully,
XYZ

Przecież references jest dobrze użyte /imo/.

references jest dobrze uzyte ale 'referees' tak samo dobrze bo to jest BrE