Artykuł o wydarzeniu chaytatywnym do sprawdzenia

Do napisania miałam artykuł o dniu charytatywnym w mojej szkole, gdzie występowały zespoły muzyczne i przyszli ludzie z okolicy. Musiałam to opisać, ocenić i dać rady na przyszłość. Bardzo proszę o sprawdzenie :)

Three days ago in my school took place ,,Charity Fun Day’’. There arrived one thousands four hundred of people from the area. Five student bands played for participants all night. People could take part in talent competition. And the most important we gathered 5 thousands of pounds for needy.
I with my friends arrived on the spot ahead of time because pupils had to help in preparation. We set up chairs, prepared scene and sound system. Entertainment started at 12 o’clock. Thereafter we had free time. All looks amazing. People were happy and smiling. We could smell food and hear the music. The sun was shining and the day promised to be a beautiful.
This year have been the best entertainment ever. Everything was well planned. Student bands played every genre of music so everyone could find something for everyone. I’ll never forget the sight of happy people who danced next to scene. Very popular was talent competition. Some people were shy but they wanted to help so finally they decided to show. Dancing and talent competition maked people hungry. They could try Mexican and Indian cuisines. It was absolutely delicious.
The only thing I’d suggest changing next year is the duration of the event. By the end of the festival everyone was sad and felt unsatisfied.
The ,,Charity Fun Day’’ is amazing event for everyone. We can have fun and at the same time help needy.

'Three days ago in my school took place ,,Charity Fun Day’’.' (niezgrabnie, tak jak kobieta 'mutton dressed as lamb' - napisz to biernie). There arrived 'one thousands four hundred' (1,400) 'of' (niepotr) people from the area. Five student bands played (daj 'all night' tutaj) for (brak przedimka) participants. 'all night' (w zlym miejscu, to jest cos waznego, a ty to dajesz na koncu). People could take part in (brak przedimka) talent competition. 'And' (nie zaczynaj zdan tym slowem, to nie jest jego funkcja w zdaniu - poczytaj o tym, i tego wiecej nie rob) the most important we gathered '5 thousands of pounds' (nie, nie, i nie. pisz 5,000 pounds) for (brak przedimka) needy.
'I with my friends' (nie, zrob to 'My friends and I') arrived 'on the spot' (on the spot znaczy cos innego) ahead of time because pupils had to help in preparation. We set up chairs, prepared (brak przedimka) scene and (przedimek) sound system. (przedimek) entertainment started at 12 o’clock.
All 'looks' (nie rozumiem do czego to sie odnosi, tutaj miales na mysli dac czasownik czasu przeszlego, ale tego nie zrobiles) amazing.
We could smell (przedimek) food and hear the music. The sun was shining and the day promised to be 'a' (po co ten przedimek tutaj jest?) beautiful.
This year 'have' (ale jak to ma sie odnosis do 'year' to jest l. poj - dostosuj czasownik do tego) been the best entertainment ever (zdasnie mi sie nie podoba, bo nie to miales na mysli).
Student bands played every genre of music so everyone could find something for 'everyone' (dlaczego masz to samo slowo tutaj? daj 'themselves'). I’ll never forget the sight of happy people who danced next to (przedimek) scene. Very popular was (przedimek) talent competition. Some people were shy but they wanted to help so finally they decided to show (ale co? musisz napisac) . Dancing and talent competition 'maked' (nie, poszukaj jak to slowo sie pisze) people hungry.
'It' (ale jak mowisz o 2ch to tutaj potrzebna jest l. mnoga) was absolutely delicious.
The ,,Charity Fun Day’’ is (przedimek) amazing event for everyone. We can have fun and at the same time help (przedimek) needy.

Co Ty robisz z tymi przedimkami (a, an, the). One tez chca byc uzywane w zdaniach, a ty je odtracasz tak jak jakies niepotrzebne zlo.

@natalucha, imo niewłaściwie używasz słowa scene. Dlatego że jest podobny do pl 'scena', niekoniecznie znaczy to samo. Sprawdź w słowniku;)

w dwoch pierwszych zdaniach ma byc najpierw podmiot, potem orzeczenie