Bardzo proszę o sprawdzenie opisu miejsca

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Together with my friend, Anna, we are living in one of the small towns, lying near the eastern border of the country. We love long walks, during which are visit not only the outskirts of the city but also small villages and towns located near ours. On one of the walks, we are discovered a very interesting place – a house that looks abandoned.
As I stood, gazing at the destroyed house, I stiffened, as though shivers down my spine. The cold air enveloped my entire body. The multiple layers of clothing I wore could not protect against the frightening cold. The walkways leading to house were in sorry state. Weeds and nettles poked out from crocks. Huge bushes grew wildly in thick batches by the gateway. Vines formed a twisted maze upon the side of the building, reaching their tentacles towards the roof. Cobwebs covered the corners of the doors and windows, spiders were everywhere. The house's walls showed building structures damaged by the weather and ravages of time. Splotches of original paint hinted that once someone cared about his appearance.
The door creaked open as if it had never been opened for a long time. When we entered into the house, we saw Flaking paint, peeling wallpaper, a “musty” odour, and timber decay. It's so confusing, it seems so impossible, the existence of such motionlessness, such dead silence. On the floor was a lot of water, so I thought that maybe the roof is leaking. We quietly entered the dark living room. Windows covered with contamination and dirt. The sofa, chairs and painting was knocked down. Wallpaper and carpet lay curled on the floor. I tried to turn on the light but light switch didn’t work. We didn’t have any flashlight, any smartphone and any matches. In the dark, everything looks twice a worse.
We made our way back into the hallway, where there was a little more light. I saw the door ajar. I approached and opened them. I had reached the bathroom. The single window was broken, a flood of light flowed into the room. Dust swirled around the room as I made my way inside. The mirror lay shattered in pieces on the concrete floor. Used medicine bottle lay in the grey sink. The only sound to be heard is the drip, drip of the hand shower.
Carefully, walking very softly, (so was very difficult because on the floor lay some planks and bricks) I am heading toward the window. When I came, I haven’t noticed any suspicious. When I looked out the window, I saw a fabulous attic. I suddenly decided to go there.
The attic with its low beams was made all the smaller by the heaps of dusty cartons. Everywhere were a lot of adventure books, maps and photography’s. When I opened one album I saw the black and white photo shows people I have never met. When I turned I saw something else.. an old rags covering a large object. It would be unadvisable to see what was under the rags.
I arrived at the foot of the staircase. I stood and peered down on terrible stairs. I summoned strength and tiptoed my way down the stairs. Each step intensified the moaning and creaking as if the steps could collapse at any moment. I turned to the left, and met my final destination. I left the building and looked at him again. This was the most interesting and frightening place I've visited this year.
Cytat:
during which are visit
during which we were ... :)imo
edytowany przez Robbertoxx: 10 lis 2016
Widzieliście 'odour'?
everything looks twice a worse. ja bym dał inny czas, np 'twice aS bad'
I approached and opened them. 'door' jest 'them' w pl. nie w ang.
Podobne tego rodzaju błędy, np 'his' odnośnie do 'house'
edytowany przez Aaric: 10 lis 2016
Cytat:
a house that looks abandoned
tutaj: ..looked..moim zdaniem... shattered inTO pieces
:) Everywhere were a lot of adventure books,...nie jestem pewien jak lepiej dac ..ale to napewno jest zle,za po polsku ...hmm we could find/see a lot of adventure books scattered elsewhere ....nie wiem :(
edytowany przez Robbertoxx: 10 lis 2016
The sofa, chairs and painting was knocked down. 'painting' knocked down - ok, 'chairs' - ujdzie, 'sofa' - raczej nie ;-)
Ja bym dał 'shattered TO pieces'
Temat przeniesiony do archwium.

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