Hej, list do pracodawcy, sprawdzi ktoś?

Dear Mr

My name is ... and I am 24 years old Polish student. I am writing to enquire about a possibility of work. I allowed myself to find out that you run a household and I would like to ask if you could possibly offer me some kind of a job. Next year, July 2017 I will get my bachelor's degree on [nazwa kierunku] at [nazwa uniwersytetu].
You will probably ask why would I like to work with you? Honestly, the answer is simple. I would love to change something in my life. When I was in high school I used to live in ... for year (youth exchange). It was the best year in my life. I got to broaden horizons, meet wonderful people and for the first time I felt like I was complete. These are not just empty words. Till today [kraj] is my second home. I wish to get to know [drugi kraj] as well. My knowledge about your country is not impressive, not yet, but I would like to make up for that. In my imagination [drugi kraj] is a beautiful country with incredible landscapes, interesting history and customs which I would love to experience.
I am not afraid of hard work, this summer I worked for two months in [miasto], [kraj] and I was cleaning three different hostels. Firstly it was tough and I needed to become accustomed to new condicions, but I learnt how to appreciate hard work. I could also relive my parents, who I deeply care about. I am able to do everything, if you just give me a chance, I promise to work hard and to do my best. I can work in household, on farm or in factory.
I speak good English and Spanish, I know basic German and French as well. Of course, Polish is my native language.
I am responsible, open-minded and careful. I have two older brothers so I am used to work by myself and on my own. I am looking for a job since July, for holidays or for longer time. More longer, better.

I enclose my CV. If you are interested, please contact me.
Thank you for your time,

Yours sincerely,

[nazwisko]

'My name is ... ' (nie za bardzo rozumiem dlaczego trzeba pisac imie, nzwisko, jak to bedzie napisane na koncu, i do tego ma CV?)
I am 24 years old Polish 'student' (czy to znaczy ze dalej studiujesz czy juz jestes po studiach? To jest bardzo wazne i trzeba napisac zeby ktos zrozumial)
I am writing to enquire about 'a' (zly przedimek) possibility of work. I 'allowed myself to find' (co to wlasciwie znaczy, to wg mnie jest niepotr. Wystarczy I found out...) that you run a household and I would like to ask if you could possibly offer me some kind of a job. Next year, July 2017 I will get my 'bachelor's' (aha, tutaj duza litera, nazwa wlasna, ale dlaczego dopiero teraz o tym mowisz, wg mnie to trzeba wczesniej) degree on [nazwa kierunku] at [nazwa uniwersytetu].
'You will probably ask why would I like to work with you?' (nie, dlaczego? Wystarczy dac po prostu przekonania dlaczego TY chcesz pracowac) 'Honestly' (dlaczego dodajesz to slowo. Nie znam nikogo kto by napisa, ze nie jest to 'honest') The answer is simple. I would love to change something in my life. When I was in high school I used to live in ... for (brak przedimka) year (youth exchange).
Till today [kraj] is (tutaj trzeba dac slowo 'like') my second home.
'In my imagination' (fajnie, ale czy teraz nie mamy google, ktore by dalo Ci pojecie jak i co w danym kraju jest...Nie pisz tak jakbys pisal do kolegi z klasy. Jak to ma byc o prace, to MUSI byc powaznie, i formalnie) [drugi kraj] is a beautiful country with incredible landscapes, interesting history and customs which I would love to experience.
I am not afraid of hard work, this summer I worked for two months in [miasto], [kraj] 'and I was cleaning' (nie, napisz dokladnie jak sie nazywala praca np. hotel daily..czy cos tam) IN three different hostels. 'Firstly' (nie, jest roznica, i to duza pomiedzy...At first' a 'firstly, tutaj At first) it was tough 'and' (ja bym tutaj dala 'as') I needed to become accustomed to new 'condicions' (blad ortog), but I learnt how to appreciate hard work. 'I could also relive my parents, who I deeply care about.' (nie rozumiem co to zdanie tutaj robi)
I am able to 'do everything' (nie, lepiej napisac ...turn my hand to everything starting from ....to ...), if you just give me a chance.
I can work in (przedimek) household, on (przedimek) farm or in (przedimek) factory.
I have two older brothers 'so' (nie rozumiem co jedno ma do drugiego, albo tlumaczysz, albo omijasz) I am used to work by myself and on my own (tak, tylko to znaczy to samo, po co to?). I am looking for a job 'since' (nie, to jest calkowicie zle slowo, co masz na mysli to FOR) July, for holidays or for (przedimek) longer time. The more longer, THE better.

Listy podpisujemy recznie, Imie i nazwisko.

... and I am 24-year-old Polish student. (potrzebny przedimek)