Essej poprawność

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Czy mógłby ktoś sprawdzić mój essej do szkoły :)? Z góry bardzo dziękuję!
Polecenie brzmi tak:
"some people believe that doing sport at school is a distraction from more importnt work. Write an essay in wchich you give your own opinion about this issue and propose ways for students to do more sport at school without causing problems for their studies.
Which sports do you do at school? How often?
are there other subjects that are more important than sport? which ones? why?
how could more sport be added to the school timetable without affecting other subjects?"

Sport is obligatory practiced in every school. It seems to me that for many students it’s the only time spent activitly because they haven’t time after lessons. In my opinion, sport in school are very necessary. However, In my view, school sports can also interfere with other subjects.

Although sport lessons take place only 3 times a week and are often volleybal or stretching, they’re sometimes located in the middle of the day, for example, between extended mathematics. It’s often said that for students it isn’t good because immediately after activity they’re sweaty, morever, lack of concentration. Most people agree that the problem arises when students will have math exam. Distracted we will not be able to write it with satisfactory marks.

On the other hand, it’s said that people practicing physical activity have a better blood flow, and not only that, but also their memory processes are supported. Physically active students are better able to focus on the lesson. Furthermore, sport also has a relaxing effect what’s more helps relieve difficult emotions.

In conclusion, I think that it isn’t possible to conclude whether sport lessons are unnecessary. On the one hand, they distract us in the short term. However, I think sport brings long-term positive learning outcomes. One solution might be to move sport in the extreme point on a lessons' plan. In order to tackle this problem, I also suggest to put it in front of subjects such as religion or an educator's time, which aren’t too important.
Zamiast sports ja bym dał np 'PE classes' lub 'gym classes' bo stretching nie należy do żadnego sportu

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