My story 3

Temat przeniesiony do archwium
Witajcie, to znowu ja :) Słowa kluczowe : half,half-price,hall,handbag,happen,ham,hard,hate,headteacher,,headache,handbag

My story.

Hello ! It's me again.Today I will tell you a story which happened to me and my sister a few days ago.
It was a thursday afternoon. I was sitting in the kitchen and reading a newspaper. I was searching for the informations about yesterday car crush on dębowa street 5. Suddenly my sister Klaudia got into the room. She told me about half-price sale in a " house shop". I hate this kind of events but I was getting a headache from her talking. I had no choice. I put on my sports shoes which were located in the hall and reminded her to take her handbag. I got (on czy in ? ) the car and we drove to a department store. When we entered the building we could see the endless queue. I recognized more than half of my friends waiting there. I couldn't believe that it aws really happening. My sister is really good at shopping. She bought a beautiful jeans jump suit for a half-price. I was impressed. All of a sudden a headteacher of my sister appeard before us. He purchased a new hamster. I felt compassion when I saw that innocent, frightened creation in a hard cage.
Finally i decided to buy some ham int the meat department and return to the home.

Proszę o poprawki i uwagi, pozdrawiam !
Today I will tell you a story which happened to me and my sister a few days ago.
It was a thursday afternoon. I was sitting in the kitchen and reading a newspaper. I was searching for the informations about yesterday car crush on dębowa street 5. Suddenly my sister Klaudia got into the room. She told me about half-price sale in a " house shop". I hate this kind of events but I was getting a headache from her talking. I had no choice. I put on my sports shoes which were located in the hall and reminded her to take her handbag. I got (on czy in ? ) the car and we drove to a department store. When we entered the building we could see the endless queue. I recognized more than half of my friends waiting there. I couldn't believe that it aws really happening. My sister is really good at shopping. She bought a beautiful jeans jump suit for a half-price. I was impressed. All of a sudden a headteacher of my sister NP ...FROM MY SISTER'S SCHOOL appeard before us. He purchased a new hamster. I felt compassion when I saw that innocent, frightened creation in a hard cage.
Finally i decided to buy some ham int the meat department and return to the home.
edytowany przez Aaric: 07 sie 2018
Jeszcze te:
She told me about (brak przedimka) half-price sale in a " house shop". I hate 'this' (tutaj l. mnoga, bo jest 'events') kind of events but I was getting a headache from her talking.
I got IN the car and we drove to a department store. When we entered the building we could see 'the' (wg mnie, tutaj lepiej 'an') endless queue.
She bought a beautiful jeans jump suit for 'a' (niepotrzebny przedimek) half-price.
I felt compassion when I saw that innocent, frightened 'creation' (nie, tutaj lepiej 'creature') in a hard cage.
Finally 'i' (slowo 'I' zawsze duza litera) decided to buy some ham int the meat department and return 'to the' (wg mnie niepotr) home.
a headteacher
Okej, postaram się poprawić :
1." I will tell you the story "- ponieważ znam te sytuację, przeżyłem ją i wiem czego dotyczy ?
2." It was thursday afternoon" ?
3." I was searching for informations ( bez the, ponieważ to coś nowego i szukam ich pierwszy raz, nie znam ich ), dalej " about yesterday's car accident " ?, dalej " On 5 Dębowa street " ? Tutaj nie jestem pewien jak to napisać, że na ulicy Dębowej...
4. Sale in a " house " shop. ( w sensie, że sklep nazywa się house ) może tak być ?
5." we drove to the department store " ?
6." nie aws tylko was "
7. She bought a beautiful, jeans jumpsuit( w sensie kombinezon jeansowy, znalazłem to słowo w kontekście kombinezonu, ale jako mody i odzieży tego typu.
8. the headteacher from my sister's school appeard in front of us.
To było do Aaric, teraz do terri :

1." She told me about 'a' half-price sale" ?
2." I hate those kind of events "


Dziękuję Wam bardzo !
2." It was thursday afternoon" ?
4. w sensie, że sklep nazywa się house to napisz House department store
8. the headteacher from my sister's school appeard in front of us. to brzmi b dziwnie. 'Nagle, kierownik ze szkoły mojej siostry zjawił się przed nami.' Nie uważasz?
edytowany przez Aaric: 08 sie 2018
All of a sudden the headteacher from my sister's school came around nearby us. We realized that he purchased a new hamster.

A pozostałe moje korekty są dobrze ?
Imo, 'the Thursday afternoon' I still don't like the sentence with 'headmaster' ;))
mozna to zmienic na:
All of a sudden the headteacher from my sister's school came towards us. We saw that he had purchased.....
All of a sudden the headteacher from my sister's school nie rozumiem dlaczego tu jest 'all of a sudden'
All of a sudden our car blew a tire and we ended up in the ditch. All of a sudden a bear came from the bushes and started chasing us.
Widzisz różnicę?
Dlaczego nie wklejasz końcowej (poprawionej) wersji?
edytowany przez Aaric: 10 sie 2018
Cytat:
All of a sudden the headteacher from my sister's school nie rozumiem dlaczego tu jest 'all of a sudden'
hmmm , moze po prostu : " suddenly " , unexpectably " ' ...
Cytat:
All of a sudden a bear came from the bushes and started chasing us
..and then all of a sudden a bear came out of the bushes , and yet to our surprise , he seemed to make his way towards us ( directly on us )
"
edytowany przez Robbertoxx: 14 sie 2018
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