PROSZE O SPRAWDZENIE LISTU

Dear Susan

I found a cat last week. I found it when I was walking in the park. I go to home from school. I took him home because he is beatiful, and It looked very sad.
My sister was really happy that we have a cat. Unfortunately, my parents don’t like animal and they are not happy when I bring to home this cat. Now, when this cat live with us already nearly week, they got used to him and accept him presence in home.
The cat didn’t want eat and he had some insects, so I took him to a veterinary surgeon and bought special collar and shampoo.
I must earlier because I must to give eat to him. I have to clean the him cage. That was because of him I have less free time but I am really happy that he have.

Take care.

XYZ

Dear Susan{,}

I found a cat last week. {ciekawy ten poczatek, do rzeczy i na temat. ;-) Moglabys chociaz spytac, co slychac u kolezanki? Ale tak tez jest OK}

I found it when I was walking in the park. I go {WAS GOING/ WALKING } {bez:to!!} home from school. I took him home because he is {WAS - opowiadasz historie} beatiful{bez przecinka} and It {it} looked very sad.

My sister was really happy that we have a cat. Unfortunately, my parents don't like animalS and they are{czas przeszly?} not happy when I bring{czas przeszly??} {bez: to!!} {SZYK: 2-home} {1-this cat}. Now, when this cat live {lepiej: HAS BEEN LIVING} with us already {FOR} nearly {A} week, they'VE got used to him and acceptED him {HIS!!} presence in {AT!!} home.
The cat didn't want {TO} eat and he had some insects {zle slowo, lepiej: FLEAS - jesli o pchlach mowa}}, so I took him to a veterinary surgeon and bought {A}special collar and shampoo.
I must {brakuje czasownika, poza tym czas: forma przeszla od "must" to "HAD TO" + DO WHAT??} earlier because I must to {HAD TO} give eat to him {GIVE HIM FOOD albo FEED HIM}. I have to clean {bez:the} him{HIS!!!} cage.
That was {lepiej: IT IS} because of him {THAT} I have less free time but I am really happy that he have {happy THAT I HAVE HIM albo happy TO HAVE HIM}.

Take care.

XYZ

Jeszcze poprawka do tego zdania:

I took him home because he was beatiful and It {HE} looked very sad.

Jesli mowisz o kocie jako "he", stosuj ten sam zaimek konsekwentnie, nie zmieniajac na "it".