Tylko się nie przeraż – poniższe poprawki to w większości sugestie/ opcje. Ogólnie bardzo dobrze napisana praca, chociaż chwilami wyczuwa się kalki z polskiego.
Nie wiem, w jakim stopniu ten esej miał być napisany językiem formalnym – podałam Ci kilka zwrotów, ale jesli nie ma to znaczenia, zostaw swoja wersję.
Classification of society {on account of ways of clothing – CLOTHING STYLES OF VARIOUS AGE GROUPS -CLASSIFICATION}.
Human-beingS {is an individual entity – ARE INDIVIDUALS,} able to {create its view – MODIFY THEIR APPEARANCE}, personality traits and {CREATE THEIR OWN} style. However, we can observe that style or {THE} way {of clothing – WE DRESS} goes hand in hand with {one's-OUR} age. {According to this – THEREFORE,}, we can divide {bez:our} society {in - INTO AGE} groups {of – WITH) similar fashion {customs – PREFERENCES?}. {And so – staraj się nie zaczynać zdania od “and” lub “so” Może: AS A RESULT,} we have four basic stages: childhood, teenage {age – YEARS}, adulthood and old age {. -,} All of {them – WHICH} are strongly connected with influences from {THE} environment and changes {of their – WITHIN THEIR} nature.
{In – DURING} early childhood our {impact – INFLUENCE} on what we {bez:are going to} wear is almost none. {So – CONSEQUENTLY,} we have to {show up – nieformalne; może lepiej: BE SEEN EVERYWHERE} in funny, colourful dresses or incredibly embarrassing trousers with straps. {But actually – niezbyt formalne. THE TRUTH IS, HOWEVER, THAT} we do not really {put – PAY} attention {on-TO} what we have on. {The most desired is everything which is connected with glossy and gleaming – THE GOLDEN RULE AT THIS AGE IS - THE MORE SHINY AND COLOURFUL, THE BETTER}. Of course, we {can – MUST?} not forget {bez:about} such accessories as patent leather shoes or {stuff with – ANYTHING FEATURING A} grinning Barbie or Batman {IN MID-FLIGHT} (in case of boys).
Our perception changes about the time {of becoming a teenager – WE BECOME TEENAGERS}. We want to call the shots and decide what style or fashion trend we are going to follow. It usually {ends with – RESULTS IN} furious parents, unexpected infections {on – FROM} tattoos, red hair and corn{S} – {można tez BLISTERS} from bovver boots. However, this is the most frantic period {of – IN} life. Nowadays people do not feel indignant about {youth – YOUNGSTERS} roaming (THE STREETS, ew. roaming around} in {bez:some} {cosmic clothes – dziwnie brzmi. “cosmic” w ang. nie ma takiego znaczenia jak w pl. „kosmiczny” – “dziwaczny”. Proponuje: OUTRAGEOUS OUTFITS albo coś podobnego}
After {an – THE} emotional turmoil {during – OF OUR} teenage {age – YEARS} {bez:it} comes the time of adulthood. It is mainly associated with motherhood. Women change their wardrobe {into – TO} {bez:something} more elegant, stylish and appropriate to their position. Men wear {tu: SUITS AND TIES}, {MUCH} hated in their youth, {bez:ties and suits} which {bez:all} create {an atmosphere of pomposity – A RATHER POMPOUS EFFECT} and {irreversible – REMIND US OF THE INEVITABLE FACT OF} growing old.
When we {after all – EVENTUALLY} reach {bez:an} old age{.-,} Our {vision of – PERCEPTION OF/ ATTITUDE TO} clothing returns to {THAT OF} early childhood. Little {care is laid on – ATTENTION IS PAID TO} what we currently have on or how we look. Of course, {there are cases of – NOW AND THEN ONE MIGHT SEE A} distinguished{bez przecinka} old lady [which – WHO!} may be a real fashion plate. But mostly our attention is focused on grandchildren and buying them those little {glossy, glamour – GLITTERY, BRIGHT-COLOURED} rompers {AND} dresses {bez:etc.}
There may be some exceptions to the {rule of clothing – CLOTHING STEREOTYPES}, but mostly ordinary people follow these patterns. As {I said – MENTIONED PREVIOUSLY}, human-beingS {is an individual entity – ARE INDIVIDUALS} but {ON THE WHOLE,} we all live in the same {manipulated community – CONFORMIST SOCIETY??}.