Gotowy esej, do sprawdzenia. ;)

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Miałam napisać esej n/t "Discuss some measures the government could take to put an end to groving violence in Poland."
Napisałam coś takiego - chodzi mi tylko o sprawdzenie pod względem technicznym, jestem świadoma, że argumenty nie są najlepsze, ale nie mogłam nic wymyślić. ;]

Violence is a public problem - almost everybody heard (1) about some act of violence made (2) in his neighborhood or even in his own family. However, there are many possible ways to prevent and to fight with violence. I will try to present some measures the government could take to put an end to groving violence in Poland.
First of all, the government should pick up prisons (3). Prisons do not fill resocialisation function, moreover - they integrate prisoners with criminal subculture. They are equipped (not all) with too luxurious stuff - as a result prisons do not fill penalty function in a proper way. The government should whet rigour (4) and conditions in polish prisons.
However, we cannot forget that not every offender should be resocialisated by imprisonment. There are criminals who had not even been bowed to socialization before (for example, adolescents from pathological families). We need specializated cadre of psychologists who could sort both of this cases. Sometimes better solution for resocialisation is an appreciation to offender what he had done and what effects it caused. It may engender internal need to mend it in offender's mind. (5)
Another important thing is to change social approach to violence. People often disregard acts of violence made in their neighbourhood because they do not want to interfere. People are afraid to revenge from (6) offenders and this is the main reason why victims do not call the police. The government ought to carry special TV programs or articles in newspapers about correct attitude to violence.
From analysis above arguments we can certify that there are many ways to put an and to growing violence in Poland. Especially when we belong to European Union and we can get money for implementation those ideas.


1) zastanawiałam się pomiędzy "heard" a "have heard"
2) -||- "made" a "took"
3) chodziło mi o wyrażenie, może nieco kolokwialne, "zająć się czymś", "zabrać się za coś"; znalazłam tylko "to pick up sth", więc nie wiem, czy dobrze
4) zaostrzyć rygor?
5) "To może spowodować wewnętrzną chęć zadośćuczynienia temu w umyśle przestępcy."
6) chodziło mi o zemstę, nie wiem, czy dobrze to ujęłąm
w 1-lepiej have heard
W reszcie sporo błędów.
Daj mi chwilkę na przeczytanie tego na spokojnie.
Przy "acts of violence" odpowiedni czasownik to commit czyli popełniać
Violence is a public problem - almost everybody HAS heard about some
act of violence 'made' COMMITTED in his neighborhood or even in his own
family. However, there are many possible ways to prevent and to fight
'with' (niepotr) violence. I will try to present some measures THAT the government could take to put an end to THE groving violence in Poland.
First of all, the government should 'pick up' (nie to nie pasuje tutaj CONCENTRATE ON) prisons . Prisons do not 'fill' (tego slowa cos nie lubie tutaj) THE resocialisation function, moreover - they integrate prisoners with THEW criminal subculture. They are equipped (not all) with too
MANY luxurious 'stuff' (a to 'stuff' to niby co to znaczy - THINGS) - as a result prisons do not 'fill' (nie, zmien to slowo) penalty function in
a 'proper' AN ADEQUATE way. The government should 'whet' (ortog) 'rigour' (nie to slowo) and conditions in polish prisons.
However, we cannot forget that not every offender should be
resocialisED by imprisonment. There are criminals who had not even
been 'bowed' (zle slowo) to socialization before (for example, adolescents from
pathological families). We need specializated cadre of psychologists
who could sort both of 'this' (ale przeciez cases to l. mn) cases. Sometimes A better solution for resocialisation is an appreciation OF THE 'to' (niepotr) offender AS TO what he had done and what effects it HAD caused. 'It' THIS may engender AN internal need to mend 'it' (do czego to it sie odnosi?) in
THE offender's mind.
People are afraid 'to' OF revenge from offenders and this is the main reason why victims do not call the police.
From analysis above arguments we can certify that there are many
ways to put an and to THE (juz mniue zaczyna wsciekac, ze nauczyciele nie ucza gdzie sie uzywa 'the' a i an - co oni wlasciwie robia!!)growing violence in Poland. Especially when we belong to THE European Union and we can get money for implementation OF those ideas.
Everybody has heard. Everybody traktuje się jako 3cią osobę l.p. o ile się nie mylę.

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