Artykuł, proszę o sprawdzenie

Będę wdzięczna za pomoc!

Dear Mister,
After listening to the yesterday’s radio debate ‘Modern Youth’, I decided to write to express my strong opposition to the discussion’s conclusion. In suppose it is my being the exponent of the youth that makes the sharp difference between our outlooks.
I cannot agree that young people are more irresponsible than previous generation were. Modern youth try to live so that they can be proud of it, to leave a particle of themselves . Many young people join volunteer work. It is really important to their psychical condition to feel needed. How can this behavior not be a magnificent example of shaping feeling of responsibility?
It is also not that kids today have too much pocket-money –by being given a bigger amount of money, they have to calculate where to buy food for lunch and which parts of clothing are indispensable to their wardrobe. They learn frugality. And it also leads to being more responsible (and independent).
What I absolutely cannot agree on is that young people have too much time on their hands – school holidays do not need to limit to meetings with friends or idling, but are occasion to develop passions and experience something new. The school year also is no joke, especially when you commute to your school from another city. As a matter of fact it is really motivating when after leaving for and returning from school (e. g. 07:00-20:00), you can see your town covered with darkness and still have to find time to do homework. You keep in mind that, even if tired, you are working for yourself and time will repay your efforts (or not).
Today’s youth has got an impressive amount of inner potential – it should be utilized well. As we manage young, still misguided in the reality, people - adults (parents, teachers…) should help them to shape this significant sense of responsibility and develop their interests. Proper guidance will, beyond doubt, bid fair to righteous conduct and utilization of their knowledge and abilities in the future life of the next generations.
Yours sincerely,

Dear 'Mister' (napisz mi w ktorej ksiazce tak zaczynaja listy, jak chcesz \Mr. to MUSI byc nazwisko),

After listening to 'the' (niepotr) yesterday's radio debate 'Modern Youth', I
decided to write to express my strong opposition to the discussion's
conclusion. 'In'(co to ma byc - popraw) suppose it is my being the exponent of the youth that makes the sharp difference between our outlooks.
I cannot agree that young people are more irresponsible than previous
generationS were. Modern youth try to live so that they can be proud of
'it' (a to 'it' to aktualnie do czego sie odnosi), to leave a particle of themselves. Many young people join volunteer 'work' (nie work a GROUPS. It is really important to their 'psychical' (ortog) condition to feel needed. How can this behavior not be a magnificent example of shaping THE feeling of responsibility?
It is also not THE CASE that 'kids today' (przypomina mi to piosenke Cliff Richard'- ale niestety nie tak, napisz CHILDREN) have too much pocket-money... And it also leads to being more responsible and independent.
What I absolutely cannot agree on, is that young people have too much
time on their hands - school holidays do not need to limit (tutaj cos brakuje|) to meetings with friends or idling, but are 'occasion' (l. mnoga) to develop passions and experience something new.
As a matter of fact it is really motivating when after leaving for and returning from school (e.g. 07:00-20:00), you can see your town covered with
darkness and still have to find time to do homework.
Today's youth has 'got' (niepotr) an impressive amount of inner potential - it
should be utilized well.

Bardzo ladnie, tylko ciekawa jestem gdzie to znalazles. Bo to nie jest calkowicie twoja wlasna praca.

dziękuję bardzo, ale nie wiem, czemu miałaby być to praca niesamodzielna, jest od początku do końca wykonana przeze mnie. Jedynym źródłem, z którego korzystałam, były wypunktowane argumenty w dyskusji radiowej, do których miałam się odnieść :)

rany, nie wiem, dlaczego w temacie napisałam "article" -.-'' :'D

It also is not ....

również dziękuję za wyłowienie błędu ! :)

... school holidays do not need to limit (tutaj cos brakuje|) to meetings with friends or idling, but are 'occasion' (l. mnoga) to develop passions and experience something new.
Sprobuj,
... being away from school does not limit us only to meetings with friends or being vain, but allows to develop passions and experience something new.

Moja wina ze uzylem "being" 2X. Moze zmien "being away" na "break".