Prośba o sprawdzenie listu

Hej. Mam wielką prośbe o sprawdzenie tego tekstu:

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing in connection with the article I have read in „Time” last week. It was entitled „Punishable Acts – young criminals ”.
The article interested me a lot, as I am a great fun of it. I hear about young criminals every day at local news. They are very dangerous for other people.
I think that this article has shown the problem with drugs and thievery from a different point of view. I read how dangerous it can be.

"In my opinion in my country are to many delinquency and to many people afraid do something with that."

The article interestS me a lot, as I am a BIG FAN of THE SUBJECT /propozycja/. I hear about young criminals every day ON THE local news. They are very dangerous TO other people.
I think, /moim zdaniem niepotrzebne/ this article has shown the problem with drugs and thievery from a different point of view. I realise /propozycja/ how dangerous it can be.

"In my opinion in my country THERE are toO many delinquenCIES and toO many people ARE afraid do something ABOUT IT."

...afraid TO do something...