Matura , rozprawka opiniująca

Prosiłbym dobre dusze o sprawdzenie moich wypocin :) , z góry dziękuje.Temat pracy brzmi "reklamy skierowane do dzieci powinny byc zakazane"


In the century of the television and internet , we are constantly atacking by a lot of the advertisment.Producers of the items , are doing everything to boost their incomes.Unfortunately they does not always play fair and are trying to tricked our kids.It is dangerous the same for kids like for the parents, so in my opinion , this type of advertisment should be banned.
Firstly , the producers of advertisment for kids can easily manipulate our youngest , because young minds always belive on what they see in television .the colorful and fashionable toys will be desirable by kids , even if this toy would not be worth of his prize.
What is more the advertisment fr kids often propogates unhealthy style of life.In advertisment of the fast foods or a candies would not be even a word about consequences of eating this type of food.
However , there is always the other side of the coin.The companies producing candies and toys are taking more of their income from the kids.Without this advertisment their brand would not be a popular any more.It will lead the comany to ruin , and a lot of people will lose a job.
In conlusion - the advantages of banned advertisment for kids outweigh the drawbacks.We can not let the great corporations to manipulate our kids , and getting money from hard working parents.

In the century of the television and (tu cos brakuje) internet, we are constantly 'atacking' (ortog ale i tak zle slowo) by a lot of 'the' (po co to slowo tutaj jest?) 'advertisment' (tylko tym jednym jedynym czy jest ich wiecej?).Producers of the items(,) (dlaczego tu jest przecinek?) are
doing everything to boost their incomes. Unfortunately 'they does' (pomysl o tym. They to l. mn. a 'does' odnosi sie do 3os.l.poj- czy nie widzic tu cos nie tak) not always play fair and are trying to 'tricked' (tutaj czas teraz.) our 'kids' (nie za bardzo lubie tego slowa, lepiej children).It is dangerous
the same for (tu cos brakuje) 'kids' (j/w) (tu cos brakuje) like for the parents, so in my opinion, 'this type' (ale dokladnie nie napisalas jaki type) of advertisment should be banned.
Firstly, the producers of advertisment for kids can easily manipulate
our youngest (our youngest WHAT? tu tego brakuje, albo uzyj inne slowo) , because young minds always 'belive' (ortog) 'on' (po co to slowo tutaj?) what they see 'in' ON television. The colorful and fashionable toys will be desirable by (tu cos brakuje) kids, even if this toy would not be worth 'of his prize' (tego nawet nie rozumiem).
What is more the advertisment 'fr' (ortog) kids often propogates unhealthy style of life. In (tu cos brakuje) advertisment of 'the' (niepotr) fast foods or 'a' (juz mnie wscieka to samo pisac caly czas...nie dajemy 'a' przed l. mn) candies (tu cos brakuje) would not 'be even' (zla kol slow) a word about (tu cos brakuje) consequences of eating this type of food.
Without this advertisment their brand would not be 'a popular' (a popular WHAT?) any more.It will lead the comany to ruin , and a lot of people will lose 'a' THEIR jobS (jobs, bo jak piszesz people to chyba masz na mysli wiecej jak jednego czlowieka).
In 'conlusion' (ortog) - the advantages of 'banned' (nie, bo masz na myslki calkowicie inne slowo) advertisment for kids outweigh the drawbacks.We can not let the great corporations 'to' (niepotr) manipulate our kids , and getting money from hard working parents.
(a czy parents nie wiedza, ze slowo 'nie' jeszcze istnieje w jezyku....czy to slowo jest juz wycofane jako nie PC?)

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