Pomoc - list motywacyjny - pilne!

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Napisałam list motywacyjny do dr z włoch, w celu dostania się do grupy badawczej w ramach wymiany studentów erasmus. boję się jednak, że mogłam popełnić jakiś błąd (w końcu miałam ponad pół roku przerwy w ang) i proszę o przejrzenie treści, jak również o bezlitosne wytknięcie wszystkich błędów:)

Dear Ms Benvenuti,
My name is Paulina K., I am a biotechnology student of the third year at the Jagiellonian University in Cracow (Poland). I am writing to inquire about the possibility of joining your research group during the autumn semester 2011 as a participant of the Erasmus program.
I am interested both in cell biology and immunology. I have learnt voluntarily some laboratory techniques connected with cell cultures (normal and asthmatic bronchial fibroblasts) for more than a year, attending the laboratory of the Institute of Cell Biology, as I became a member of a team led by doctor Marta Michalik. In 2010, during my summer practice, I did some laboratory research about using flow cytometry in appraising the phenotype and function of T cells. I have also attended many courses (like cell biology, immunology, biochemistry, genetics), which gave me the required knowledge and practical skills.
I would like to develop my knowledge, scientific skills and laboratory techniques. I believe I can reach these by coming to the University of Trieste and joining your research team. I would be very grateful if you agreed.
I speak English in advanced level. Unfortunately, I don’t speak Italian yet, but I plan to study this language during summer break.
I would be grateful if you could inform me whether it would be possible to study at your university and I look forward to your answer.
Yours sincerely,
Paulina K.
Dear Ms Benvenuti,
'My name is Paulina K.,' (to zdanie wg mnie jest niepotr, bo przeciez wypelniasz druki i sie podpisujesz na koniec listu) I am a THIRD YEAR biotechnology student 'of the third year' (niepotr) at the Jagiellonian University in Cracow (Poland). I am writing to inquire about the possibility of joining your research group during the autumn semester 2011 as a participant of the Erasmus programME.
I have 'learnt' (zly czas- tutaj been learning) 'voluntarily' (niepotr- nie rozumiem po co to pisac) 'some' (nie uzywaj takich slow w powaznych pismach) laboratory techniques connected with cell cultures (normal and asthmatic bronchial fibroblasts) for more than a year, attending the laboratory of the Institute of Cell Biology (napisz gdzie) , 'as I became a member of a team led by' (nie pisz tak, lepiej..under the guidance) of Doctor Marta Michalik. In 2010, during my summer practice, I 'did' (Nie pisz tak...carried out) 'some' (nie pisz tego beznadziejnego slowa ktore nic nie dodaje tutaj) laboratory research 'about' (niepotr) INTO THE usAGE OF flow cytometry in appraising the phenotype and function of T cells. I have also attended many courses ('like' (co to glupie slowo tutaj robi- niepotr)cell biology, immunology, biochemistry, genetics), which HAVE gIveN me the required knowledge and practical skills.
I believe I can 'reach' ATTAIN these by coming to the University of Trieste and joining your research team.
'I would be very grateful if you agreed' (to nawet nie pisz, to wyglada jak podlizywanie sie)
I speak English 'in' AT AN Advanced level. Unfortunately, I don’t speak Italian yet, but I plan to study this language during THE summer break.
I would be grateful if you could inform me whether it would be possible to study UNDER THE ERASMUS PROGRAMME at your university and I look forward to your answer.
Bardzo Ci dziękuję :) pozdrawiam!

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