Sprawdzenie list nieformalny

Dear Tom
I would like to share with you, my dangerous experience from my last mountain trip.
But I’ll start from beginning. Two weeks ago me and my friend Johnny were in the bar where we met a mysterious man, he told us how exciting its mountain trip without any special gear.
We knew already that we must to try it, to prove that we can do this! Three days later, ours trip has begun. We were heading to “Giewont” peak. After couple hours the weather has changed dramatically .The snowstorm has begun! We were not prepared for things like this. We lost the way. When we try back on the trail I slipped and fell down losing consciousness. Good that, Johnny was with me, he called for help. They took us to the hospital. It was very dangerous I’ll never forget this. And how about you? How are you?

yours xyz

Czy ktoś mógłby mi pomóc i podpowiedzieć czy aby napewno wszystko jest poprawne.
Pozdrawiam

lekko poprawiona wersja
Dear Tom
I would like to share with you my dangerous experience from my last mountain trip.
But I’ll start from beginning. Two weeks ago me and my friend Johnny were in the bar where we met a mysterious man. He told us how exciting is hiking without any special gear.
We knew already that we must to try it, to prove that we can do this! Three days later, our trip has begun. We were heading to “Giewont” peak. After couple hours the weather has changed dramatically .The snowstorm has begun! We were not prepared for this. We lost the way. When we tried to get back on the trail I slipped and fell down losing consciousness. Thanks God, Johnny was with me, he called for help. They took us to the hospital. It was very dangerous I’ll never forget this. And how about you? How are you?

yours xyz

Let me start...
my friend J and me
in a bar
exciting it was to hike
must musi byc w czasie przeszlym, tak samo jak can
potem narracja w simple past
a couple of hours

Dzięki wielkie i pozdrawiam :)