How to get rid of vagueness?

Some of the following sentences are vague, "empty", "overpacked", or contorted. Rewrite each one so that it is clear and specific, combing or dividing sentences if necessary.

1. Roger was a pretty neat guy who was important to his company.

1.1. Roger was a pretty neat guy, which was important to his company.
1.2 Roger was a pretty neat guy, and that was important to his company.
(mam jeszcze dwie opcje tu)

2. There's a new detective show on television. It stars Phil Noir and is set in the 1940s
2.1 A new detective show on TV, which stars Phil Noir, is set in the 1940s.

3. Sarah's room was always a huge disaster.

Co tu można poprawić?

4. The book Biofeedback: How to stop it is a good one because of all the writer put into it.

4.1 The book Biofeedback: how to stop it is a good one because of all effort (that) the author put into it.

5. My junk mail is incredible.

5.1 I've got an incredible amount of junk mail.

Cheers.

Please note that your first sentence has it that it is Roger himself that was imporant to his company, rather than his neatness. Given that, the sentences you came up with differ in meaning from the original sentence. I don't know how else you could improve upon #1 -- the sentence strikes me me as pretty clear. I don't see anything obscure about it, so I won't be of much help in this respect.

Other than that, you've done exceptionally well. As for #3, could it be that the authors want you to say what is it that makes Sarah's hoom a huge disaster? I'd probably just write Sarah's room was always one huge mess.

>>>Please note that your first sentence has it that it is Roger himself that was imporant to his company.

Not necessarily. It can mean two things: that it was Roger's neatness that was important to his company, and that it was Roger himself who was important to his company. The primary sentence is double-edged, and I am to make it specific any way I want unless it is grammatically correct.

Cheers mate for your input.

Well, I read it to mean that it is Roger himself who was important to his company. It could very well be due to his neatness, but the sentence as it stands doesn't say that, at leasat to me. Others may differ.

By the way, mate, in your last message I'd be inclined to change 'unless' to 'as long as', but this might be just me. It's not that I'm nit picking on you, this is just to say. :)

I meant "unless" and not "as long as". The way you speak is a habit of yours, and mine is mine.

Fair enough. I'll think again next time I may want to offer some suggestion, so as not to offend you... geeez, don't you you're oversensitive? But more importantly, don't you think the word 'unless' as used in your sentence is out of place?

Yes, it is.