Poprawa błędów

Proszę o sprawdzenie tekstu.
Hi Susan,
How are you doing? It was good to hear from you so thanks for your letter. Sorry I haven’t written for so long, but I was very busy. Every day I must learn a lot. Today I find a moment to write to you.
I’m writing to tell you news. Don’t belive me! Our best friend Ann has met someone recently. He is called Tom and has got a white teeth, huge nouse and long, wavy hair tied in a ponytail. They met at the disco and in are inseparable.
Tom is very sense of humour. All the time he tells us jokes. Everybody couldn’t stop laught at their. Tom is either caring because every 15 minutes ask him girlfriend ‘How are you? Are you hungry or thirty? Maybe are you cold?’ and then he hold her close. They both smile to yourself.
I’m very happy cause they fell in love with each other. In my opinion are a great lovers. I must be going now. Give my love to everyone at home and visit me as soon as possible.
All the best,
XYZ

today I find - zly czas
przedimek/zly przedimek przed news, teeth,
don't believe me - nie wierz mi : )
is very sense of humour - jest bardzo poczucie humoru
at theirS - z ich
either - to zle slowo
ask, hold - zly czas, him - jemu
thirSty
to yourself - zle
are great lovers- translator

proszę o poprawę błędów, ten list pisałam sama dla siebie w celu poprawy języka :) nie jest to praca domowa, are great lovers -> chciałam użyć słowa "wspaniały" i para i znalazłam słowko lovers i w połączeniu mi to wyszło ;)

Hi Susan,
How are you doing? It was good to hear from you so thanks for your letter. Sorry I haven’t written for so long, but I was very busy. Every day I must learn a lot. Today I have found a moment to write to you.
I’m writing to tell you a news. You will not believe what happens! Our best friend Ann has met someone recently. He is called Tom and has got white teeth, a huge nouse and long, wavy hair tied in a ponytail. They met at the disco and in are inseparable.
Tom has very sense of humour. All the time he tells us jokes. Everybody couldn’t stop laught at theirs. Tom is also caring because every 15 minutes asked his girlfriend ‘How are you? Are you hungry or thirsty? Maybe are you cold?’ and then he held her close. They both smile to each other.
I’m very happy cause they fell in love with each other. In my opinion are a great lovers. -> nie umiem poprawić I must be going now. Give my love to everyone at home and visit me as soon as possible.
All the best,
XYZ

poprawiłam wskazane błędy, teraz jest dobrze? Nie wiem jak zastąpić great lovers :)

today - tutaj musisz uzyc Past Simple
the news
you won't believe me!
has a very good sense of humour
he asks his...
tu potrzeba slowa are a < -zly przedimek great lovers

Hi Susan,
How are you doing? It was good to hear from you so thanks for your letter. Sorry I haven’t written for so long, but I was very busy. Every day I must learn a lot. Today I found a moment to write to you.
I’m writing to tell you the news. You won’t believe me! Our best friend Ann has met someone recently. He is called Tom and has got white teeth, a huge nouse and long, wavy hair tied in a ponytail. They met at the disco and in are inseparable.
Tom has a very sense of humour. All the time he tells us jokes. Everybody couldn’t stop laught at theirs. Tom is also caring because every 15 minutes asks his girlfriend ‘How are you? Are you hungry or thirsty? Maybe are you cold?’ and then he held her close. They both smile to each other.
I’m very happy cause they fell in love with each other. In my opinion they are great lovers. I must be going now. Give my love to everyone at home and visit me as soon as possible.
All the best,
XYZ

już jest chyba wszystko w porządku, dzięki wielkie za poświęcony czas, sama bym nie wyłapała tych błędów :)

his name is Tom
huge nouse sprawdź w słowniku
They met at the disco and in are inseparable.
Tom has a very sense of humour. brak słowa
Tom is also caring because every 15 minutes asks his girlfriend ‘How are you? Are you hungry or thirsty? Maybe are you cold?’ and then he held her close. nie możesz mieć held jeżeli wcześniej jest asks
They both smile to each other. ja bym dał inny preposition

Everybody couldn’t stop laught at theirs. hmmm;)

Bardzo proszę o sprawdzenie.
to jest tytuł pracy:
"bezpieczeństwo użytkowania maszyn w przemyśle metalowym"
a to próba tłumaczenia:
"safety use of machinery in the metal industry"
Będę bardzo wdzięczna za pomoc.

>>>"bezpieczeństwo użytkowania maszyn w przemyśle metalowym"
"safety use of machinery in the metal industry"
ja dalabym SAFE use of ....