Personal Statement

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Witam!Od jakiegoś czasu, staram się napisac Personal Statement....i mam już kilka jego wersji i tu pojawia się problem. Przeczytałam pare poradników na ten temat, pomimo tego nie potrafie stwierdzic, czy to co napisałam do czegoś się nadaje. I tutaj moja prośba: Czy ktoś na tym forum , chciałby mi pomoc? NIe chodzi o sprawdzenie błędów językowych, których jest pewnie bardzo duuuużo, ale samej treści. Poprawność językową może mi sprawdzić pierwszy, lepszy anglista, ale z treścią to troche gorsza sprawa. Bardzo proszę o pomoc! I tym samym....życzę wesołych świąt:).
PS.Jezeli ktoś jest chętny pomoc biednej, zdesperowanej dziewczynie, to proszę pisac na maila: [email] albo [gg] , lub podać jakies swoje namiary,bo wklejenie mojego PS tutaj, chyba nie jest najlepszym pomysłem.Pozdrawiam i z góry dziękuje:)

Wiktoria
jak wkleisz tutaj swoj personal statement (omijajac swoje dane) to pomozemy.
Ja nie mam zamiarow szukac stron emailowych albo gg, zeby wtedy dostawac spamy od niewiadomo kogo. Tych to dostaje az za duzo.
Wszyscy inni tutaj wklejaja swoje teksty do poprawek i jeszcze jakos to przezywaja.
Ktoś kiedyś tutaj napisał, zeby nie wklejac swoich PS na ogólnodostępnym forum i zasugerowałam się tym.Przepraszam.

Oto moj PS, wiem , ze spotka się z ogromną krytyką , ale jestem na nia w pełni przygotowana:).Wiem, ze początek jest daremny, ale lepszego jeszcze nie wymysliłam.Aha, jak wspominałam, błędów językowych jest spoooro, wiec prosze sie nie przerazić. Moj angielski nie jest świetny i zdaje sobie z tego sprawe, ale starałam się jak mogłam. Proszę o wyrozumiałość.
Kierunki które wybrałam to African studies/media.

Like Marshall McLuhan said, "the new media are not just mechanical gimmicks for creating worlds of illusion, but new languages with new and unique powers of expression.” The world have changed a lot since he said that words, and is still changing. I want to be a part of this expression.I wish to show the people a power, beauty,fabulously and wildness of Africa. Its why I want to study African, and media courses.
Working in media is my dream since I was in secondary school. I was about 14 years old, and I started wishes to be a journalist. I participated in journalism course, where I could feel a bit of this profession. I made my first radio report, and I wrote first , short note to local newspaper. This experiance, influence for my final decission, that I want to work in media.
Big influence for my decission had also person, who creat a great documentary films about African people, Haile Gerima. His stories are really deep,sad,and terrifying but truly, and touching, like "Imperfect Journey", which Haile Gerima directed with Polish journalist Ryszard Kapuscinski , or the new one "Teza", which is really stirring, but amazing in the same time.
Last year I made a first short report for new "verita" tv, with my friends. It was for 750 years of my city, and It was about , what the people living here, think about the city. I also like photography. I situate all my best photos in special web portal, where people could asses it, and give me a tips, whats improve my photography skills.
In high school, I started to improve my knowledge about Africa. Unfortunately, this continent is not popular in Poland, so there are not many competition about it. All my time, in my present school , I have tried to disseminate knowledge in my school. I establish contact with salezjans in Kenya and I arranged fund-raising for children's house in Nairobi for orphans girls. In high school I started to learn swahili by my own.Regrettably, there aren't any books in Poland to learn this language, so I try learn from internet.
Not a long time ago, I became a volontary in Mamadou Diouf Fundation "otherwise Africa", to spread knowledge about it. My very big dream is to go with his fundation to Africa, or go there for my own. I also started a volontary work in newspaper "refugee", about refugees in Poland.I also was working with children with various developmental disfunctions on the permises in Rehabilitation and Education Center for Disabled Children in Katowice.
I have more hobbies and interest. I like sailing or dance.I believe dance to be the most universal form of communication. It is a large part of my life and it helped me to meet people from all the world, also from Africa. I've never forgotten, the XV Annual International Contemporary Dance Conference and Performance Festival in Bytom. It was amazing time, while I took part in African dance classes.On the Caro Diallo(from Senegal), and Nora Chipaumire's (Zimbabwe) African contemporary classes, I felt like to really be in Africa! They told me, so many things about theirs countries, got me a enthusiasm, and it was successive time, when I state realize that Africa fascinated me at all.
I don't remember when I fallen in love in Africa. But I did, and I want to pick up a people of this passion. I remember, when I was a child, and I was watching programs about Africa. I started thinking , that it is the most beautiful place, which I have ever seen. I used to think then, that it have never existed, that is just a imaginary place. I would like to made a adult people think the same, like me when I was a child. I want to show them, that (like my favorite author Ryszard Kapuscinski wrote in "Heban") Africa is " the ocean, separate planet, diverse, plenteous cosmos".
What I want to do in the future is making movies, reports about Africa, about culture, music, tradition and people. I want to show everyone, how Africans live. Its why I want to study African and media course. Its not posibble in Poland. I hope, that you give me a chance to make my dreams come truth.
Ty składasz podanie w tym roku? Na jakie uczelnie aplikujesz? Rzeczywiście jest sporo błędów językowych, ale to można poprawić. Jedyny problem z którym możesz się spotkać to wymogi, które będziesz musiała spełnić w razie otrzymania oferty. Mogą one zawierać np otrzymanie 6.0-7.0 z IELTS. Ale skoro składasz podanie, na pewno zdajesz sobie z tego sprawę. Anyway, ja już to mam za sobą więc mogę Ci nieco pomóć. To moje gg - 9299542
TO PS jest za dlugie i ma za duzo zbednych rzeczy. Przekonaj mnie, uzywajac 500 slow dlaczego kochasz Africe...nie uzywajac slow, co tam, ktos tam, kiedys tam, powiedzial czy myslal.
PS ma byc tylko i wylacznie O TOBIE, ma przedstawiac dlaczego TY chcesz studiowac.
PS ma sie skladac z:
Ja chce studiowac X dlatego ze...
Do celu zamierzam w ten sposob...I have done this, I am a member of..
Mam doswiadczenie...I have written, taken photographs...
Temat przeniesiony do archwium.

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Pomoc językowa - tłumaczenia