What is the right time to get married now?

What is the right time to get married now? are you married- are you happy?

there's no one right settled time to get married. it all depends on so many things (your life expectations, your education, career) making it different for each individual.

i'm married at 26 ; & happy (at least so far) :-)

In my opinion people should get married before they finish 30 years :) but now i`m only 18 years old and i may change my mindset :P

Well, I think people shouldn't get married before 30. It is better to wait untill maturity comes to us, than get married at the age of 18 and later be sorry for that. If s/he loves you s/he'll wait;)

There's no use regretting anything. Even if poeple do get get married at the age o 18, which I may think is much too early, they can get divorced, even in POland, (at least it's still possible before Roman the Beautiful rules).

I don't believe in any age limits, any magic borders. Maturity is a not a quality we're bound to gain, as some poeple will never become mature, while others have the feature very soon, perhaps even as a kid/teenager.

As far as marriage is concerned, apparently the tendency is now to get married later than previous generations did, which is a result of social changes. It's not only the position of women that was improved, so women's value is no longer measured basing entirely on the husband she's managed to catch, but this is also financial circumstances and changes in the mentality and attitude to life.

Marriage is not only a ceremonial vow to love one another, but it's also a contract with the duties clearly stated, one of them being financial support. In the past women didn't work, or worked less, or at least had fewer career opportunities and eraned much less, so they needed to be taken care of. Now, however, when more offers are available and waiting for women which can provide us with financial independence, it doesn't come as a surprise that we are much more picky when it comes to getting a husband. Now it's not just a person that wants us and/or has income which is sufficient to cater for our needs. Nowadays, we're more likely to wait for the one, so a person who is both a sensitive lover, cordial friend and a good pal to face our everyday problems with.

Rgds,
Kociamama.

I'm not married and I don't intend to get married in the near future. Why? Well, the answer is simple: I can earn enough money to cater for myself and my dogs, I haven's found who I'm looknig for so far, and I'm not in a hurry, even if I'm not a teenager any more...maybe someday I will be in love with somebody to such a degree that I'll find it necessary to get married, who knows ;)))))

maybe
>someday I will be in love with somebody to such a degree that I'll
>find it necessary to get married, who knows ;)))))

Being in love, or loving somebody doesn't have to mean getting married immediately;) Well, I'm in a relationship. but to get married? what for?;)

Rgds,
Kociamama.

>Being in love, or loving somebody doesn't have to mean getting married
>immediately;)

Of course it doesn't. I would personally advise people to live together for a while before getting married. This is the only way to get to know somebody inside out and check whether you can live with those irritating little habits everyone has :-)) (and the other way round, of course)

Well, I'm in a relationship. but to get married? what
>for?;)

Many people say that they do not need paper to prove their love. It's true, but this seemingly unimportant paper makes buying an apartament a lot easier (together with many other 'red tape' examples). That's just one example.
>
regards :-)

First of all,what a "funny" nickname U've got...
Apparently,haven't reached your,as U call it:maturity,yet. Why 30 should be a turning point? Hard to guess. Finally,what he or she is supposed to wait for,beside the weeding ceremony. Anyway,U may be sorry no matter what age U get married - that's life!

be lucky taurus2

>Of course it doesn't. I would personally advise people to live
>together for a while before getting married. This is the only way to
>get to know somebody inside out and check whether you can live with
>those irritating little habits everyone has :-)) (and the other way
>round, of course)

I can't agree more. If people plan to get married cohabiting for a while, to me, seems a prerequisite for marriage, as nothing can be that successful in stifling a "genuine' affection or a "true romantic passion" like a messy person leaving their dirt underpants and dirty coffee cups if the other one is extremely orderly, or constant nagging of the pedantic one to neatly fold your clothes or always wash the dishes before going to bed no matter how exhausted you are, if the other person doesn't necessary consider "order" the most imposrtant value in life.

As for the other argument, that marriage can introduce a certain degree of convenience, esp. as far as finances are concerned (bank loans, tax breaks, etc.) to me it's not enough to get married. I don't see any other reason to sign the contract, as I'm not religous, and generally don';t feel the need, but I wouldn't be tempted to change my marital status only because of that, as I'd feel like marrying sb only for money, and such a thing would be against my ethical code;)

RGds,
Kociamama.

I've just got married and i'm ecstatic about it.

Very well thought and written, Kociamama, I couldn't agree more... but with this marriage thing...after some time or so of shacking up I would feel abused and deeply unhappy if my partner didn't ask to marry me...perhaps my views are obsolete but I'm adamant on this point.

I
>would feel abused and deeply unhappy if my partner didn't ask to marry
>me...perhaps my views are obsolete but I'm adamant on this point.

;) Yeah, the partner is supposed to offer to marry you (I mean, us, modern women), but we, being modernm women released form the pressure of the society and conventions, and also being persuasive and eloquent, can manage to explain to the partner, that marriage is not a prerequisite for enjoying our mature relationship based on trust and partnership;)

Rgds,
KOciamama.

first of all you don't have to be religious to get married :) I was married in registrar office only, though i'm a "believer". I come from very strong catholic family though i'm not too strong as they are in those things - my hubby is an etheist :) We got married for many reasons, easier immigration process was one of them. But another was we wanted to have something, like a "proof" of our relationship and to say aloud those few words - an oath... With our friends as witnessess to that occassion. Apart from that i wouldn't like to call my hubby "partner" or "boyfriend" till the end of my life.... We wouldn't have any problems with buying a house or any banking things as partenrs - that's different than in Poland, so there was no business behind that :) Anyway - lots of fun, and one piece of jewellery more ;) Nothing to e afraid of :) But it is a good idea to live for some time together before making a decision to get married. Then you will know if stinky socks from time to time is a huge prooblem and horror or if you could live with that putting a clothes peg on your nose :)))))

one more reason for us was love as well ;))))) without it i wouldn't get married. there's no point.

I understand why other people get married, but I just express my opinion, that I, personally don;t want to do that.

I'm not this sort of person who enjoys celebrations and big words, so I'm not planning to say any vows in front of public, as I feel it's sth intimate. Another thing is, that I;m sort of anarchist (no matter how funny it may seem to you;)) so the natural consequence is that I have developed a hatred towards all institutions (but for school;), I know, I know gaps in my logics) and I have no intention of promising to love my man in front of some clerk representing the Polish, or any other state;) (you know, police state, blah, blah, blah;)
The next thing is, that as a realist, I'm fully aware that marriage won't keep my husmband with me, or me with my husband, if one of us decides to break the relationship, so such a contract gives a faulse sense of security.
Finally, as a pessimist, I realize that nothing lasts for ever. I can never be sure when my relationship ends, (although for the time being I'm not planning to finish it), but polygamy is typical and natural for people, so assuming it's not gonna be my last marraige, i see no point in going thru all of that;)

I once more repeat, it's my, personal view on marriage, and i don't question this institution for others.

Rgds,
KOciamama.

I'm not going to beat you up just because you don't believe in marriage :) It's just a matter of choice - you can have wonderful everlasting neverending partnership. Why not? I just wanted to be married, not to be partner. But it's me and i respect right to partnership. And i think it should be recognised as marriage in every country. In New Z, where i currently live, partnership is treated the same way marriage is and i think it is a good thing. Why to make things worse just because you don't have a paper?????????/ There shouldn't be any obstacles in getting mortgage just because you are in partnership.... Noone and nothing should make you to get married, you must want it. Afer all you are going to live with your partner not the registrar :)
As for me - after many very bad realtionships i found my other half, and that's how it should be :) After 3 years of marriage and 5 years of being together everything is fine, and that's what counts.
cheerios :)

Well, that's pretty close to what I would like to write myself, so I won't repeat Kasiul's words over and over again...I respect the choice of living without the official marriage certificate but that's definitley not my scene, one man's meat is another man's poison... Cheers, Kociamama!

never..........marriage kills love

You have created a wonderful neologism "weeding day celabration" - it sounds great and expresses all about the marriage.
By the way - where is the point in getting married?
Regards,

Find a man who earn more money than you. I wish I were that man ;-))

Kasiul said that marriage is a "proof" of our relationship. hmm, 'proof' can kills love? I think that 'proof' should protect love not kill... I don't know, I'm not marriage (yet) :)

i'm not qute enthusiastic about people who want to get married at all costs. i'm not that kind of a person. i'm only 24 but i've been to many hard times in my life and waited for a long time for that "dreamen one". i got married last saturday and i'm happy with it. i know that what i did was right. i'll tell you more about maririage later, when i know more.
podwiatr

how do you know? ever been married? Marriage only kills so-called love as you cannot wipe out as strong emotion as love is. If you can leave many years with the same partner why assuming marriage kills love? It is the same thing only now it's getting a legal name for it which is marriage. Though some people can feel more comfortable with not being married - that's their own decision. But i disagree that marriage kills love.

Congratulations, first of all.

However, your post looked interesting to me, for the fact that you say you know it was the right decision. Well. I wish you all the best (honestly), but unfortunately, I guess that only after some time has elapsed will you be able to state whether it was the right decision.

Rgds,
KOciamama.

i think that there is much truth in the thing you said, but i hope that in some years time i will be able to say that i was right as well:)

anyway, the question of marriage is a matter of one's own choice. i wouldn't want to hear that a particular age is proper to get married while not some other. the thing that people have different points of view makes the world so fascinating. however, it is always interesting to hear (or read) different people's opinions.

As far as i'm concerned, i see no right time for marriage... Uffff for me it's just no use getting married. Reasons? Firstly, do people need any documents that would confirm or better prove their love? It's absurdity. Besides, no marriage=no obligations=no commitments= no problems. Oh and at any moment you may pack your guy's or your own suitcases, if it starts to get boring. Maybe it's cruel, but have you ever seen the people who have lived together for 20 years and aren't fed up with each other???

For me, the absurdity is to expect to feel so enthusiastic with being together all of the time as it was at first because it's impossible. Our brain stops producing substances which cause, let's say, 'chemical love' (if you know what I mean). In long relationships we can't avoid some quarrels. More and more people now decide to take a short break just to refresh the relationship.

no commitment= no relationship. Sorry, but you are stuck in dark ages. Not only you don't know anything about marriage but about serious relationship as well. And yes, i have seen people with 20 years or longer relationship (marriage or partnership) and they are not fed up with themselves. But all depends who you are and who your partner is... If the couple is only bound by sex, money or anything 'simple' it is obvious that sooner or later this relationship will break up. You've got to bring something into it, and have some imagination....

I would die of exhaustion if every day of my marriage was as intense as beginnning of my realtionship with my husband. Of course quarrels are and will be - don't you quarrel with your parents, siblings, grandparents etc etc? But you still love them. I have a short break when i am at work, but i wouldn't go for few months without my husband. even weeks. And if you need a break from your partner then something is wrong and you should work over your marriage/partnership. And i don't care what more and more poeple do. if you really love your partner then you want to share your life with him/her. Without any breaks. It is like giving your child away to the Foster House for few months because you are fed up with it or just annoyed. Love is because of things but despite as well.