Things children write

Temat przeniesiony do archwium
The things children write in essays:
1. His mother, being immortal, had died.
2. We were trapped in a blazing car; but luckily enough a river was passing by.
3. As she went though her wardrobe, she found a scorpion in her drawers, she rose quickly.
4. I quickly glanced at the grandfather clock in my waistcoat pocket.
5. Clowns tie their trousers with string which, when it is pulled, shows a hair-raising scene.
6. A cigarette hung out of the corner of her eye.
7. It was about dusky when I aroused from my slumble.
8. After several years his business began to flush.
9. Big flies were hovering all around the room.
10. Some people can tell the time by looking at the sun, but I have never been able to make out the numbers.
11. Romeo and Juliet tell each other how much they are in love in the baloney scene.
12. The equator is a menagerie lion running round the earth through Africa.
13. My wife has the baby, and you will never see it again, there was no name or signature written on the bottom.

And that’s a fact:
14. An oboe is an American tramp.
15. Trigonometry is when a lady marries three men at the same time.
16. Caviar is the eggs of a surgeon.
17. Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
18 The feminine of manager is managerie.
19 The plural of spouse is spice.
20. The masculine of heroine is kipper.
21. Parsimony is money left by your father.
22. Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
23. A monologue is a conversation between two people, such as husband and wife.
24. Celibacy is a disease of the brain.
25. When father passed away they burned his ashes and brought them home in a urinal.
26. Chivalry is the act of a man who gives his seat to a lady in a public convenience.
27. A momentum is what you give a person when they are leaving.
28. An aristocrat is a man who does somersaults on the stage.
29. Terra cotta is stuff squeezed out of little insects and used to turn puddings red.
30. A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.
31. A barrister is a thing put up in the street to keep the crowds back.
32. Mussolini is a sort of material used for ladies’ stockings.
33. The future of ‘I give’ is ‘you take’.
34. Q: What is a microbe?
A: A robe that the micks wear.
35. A millennium is something like a centennial only it has more legs.
36. The embalmed body of an Egyptian is called a dummy.


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