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Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
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Since my sixteenth birthday it has been six months. But they will always remain in my memory.
August 13 celebrating his birthday. Last year sixteenth.

Every year on my birthday parents woke up me with a smile on his face, greeting and birthday gift. As every year, I had a birthday party for my friends.
Evening all my friends were already. Party was a great, everyone fun great. But I was sad because my boyfriend had not yet come. Even thought that he forgot about my birthday. I wanted to cry, but I saw him at the door. He had beautiful flowers, and something under his shirt. It was a small yorkie. I was surprised, happy. My dream came true.

All my friends were pleased with the event, and for me it was the best day of my life.
'Since my sixteenth birthday it has been six months' (napisz to inaczej...Six months have passed since my 16th birthday) But they will always remain in my memory.
August 13 celebrating 'his' (jego?) birthday. Last year sixteenth.

Every year on my birthday MY parents woke 'up me' (zla kol slow) with a smile on 'his' (his odnosi sie do jednej osoby, ale parents to l. mn) face, greeting and (brak przedimka) birthday gift.
'Evening all my friends were already' (to nie jest zdaniem, pomysl co chcesz napisac) . (brak przedimka) party was 'a' (po co to?) great, everyone HAD 'fun great' (zla kol slow).
(ale kto? kot? pies? kaczka?) even thought that he forgot about my birthday.
Szesc miesiecy pozostaja w pamieci czy 16te urodziny? If it's the latter, then " But they will always remain in my memory. " is wrong.