Description of a person I admire. - sprawdzenie wypracowania

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Polecenie: Write a description of someone you admire. Describe their appearance, their personality and say why you admire them. write 2[tel]words (praca w stylu maturalnym)

Prosze o sprawdzenie i ewentualne podpowiedzenie, co można jeszcze dodać :)
Z góry bardzo dziękuje :)


The person which I admire the most is my mum. Her name is Zosia and she is friend of mine. We usually get on really well but sometimes we have tiny arguments.

My mum is short and plump. She has got short, wavy and raven black hair. She is elegant and usually wears her hair dissolved. She is in her fourties and she has no wrinkles. On her nose there are some freckles. Her eyes are almond-shaped and brown. She is quite pretty and I love her smile.

She always seems to be in a good mood. She tends to be honest, helpful and diligent. She has also good sense of humor.We have nearly the same hobbies and usually the same opinions. I admire her becouse she is very inteligent, hardworking and she has many goals in her life.

For all these resons I admire her. I really love her and I wish I could see more of her becouse nowadays I live in a dormitory and I see her once a week or once every two weeks. Hovewer we talk on the phone every day. She is very important to me, becouse she taught me to make good decisions in my life. She has always been with me when i needed it. I can always rely on her and I can tell her all my secrets without fear. I'm glad that she is my mum.
edytowany przez ooolciaaa94: 09 lut 2011
ale jakos nie widze twojego tekstu - co mamy sprawdzac?
niechcący przycisnęłam dodaj :P ale szybciutko edytowałam :) przepraszam za problemy :)
Her name is Zosia and she is (brak przedimka) friend of mine. We usually get on really well (przecinek przed 'but') but sometimes we have tiny arguments.

She is elegant and usually wears her hair 'dissolved' (nie to jest zle slowo, 'tabletka moze byc dissolved', tutaj slowo jest LOOSE). She is in her 'fourties' (ortog) and she has no wrinkles.

She tends to be honest, helpful and 'diligent' (ortog). She 'has also' (zla kol slow..also has) (brak przedimka) good sense of 'humor' (humour-BrE, humor-AmE).
I admire her 'becouse' (sprawdz to slowo-i popraw) she is very 'inteligent' (ortog), hardworking and she has many goals in her life.

I really love her and I wish I could see more of her 'becouse' (popraw) nowadays I live in a dormitory and I see her once a week or once every two weeks. 'Hovewer' (ortog) we talk on the phone every day. She is very important to me, 'becouse' (popraw to) she taught me to make 'good' (zamiast 'good' lepiej WISE) decisions in my life. She has always been with me when 'i' (duza litera) needed it.
dziękuję :) :*