rozprawka/proszę o sprawdzenie

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Proszę o sprawdzenie rozprawki, nie zbyt mi idzie pisanie tego typu tekstów. Proszę o uwagi i poprawki

Temat: "Wady i zalety mieszkania w dużym mieście"
These days most people live in a big cities. There are a lot of advantages and disadvantages of livin in a big cities. (ze wstępem mam problem, nie bardzo wiem co napisać :( )
First of all big cities are very attractive. There are many shops, bars, beauty salons and department store. People have more choices, they can compare prices. They can also choose where they want to buy things. Many people from small towns and villages come to big city to go shopping, because there they can buy more things than at residence.
Secondly, in big cities there are more places to work. People don't have to come many kilometers to work. That work in big city is often better paid than work in small town.
The most important disadvantage of living in a big city is that there are more pollutiions, because there are a lot of cars and factories. There are often a traffic jam which makes difficult to travel by car or public transport. Pollutions have bad influence of the health of resident.
What is more in big cities people are more anonymous. They have more freedom. In big city are more thefts and conflicts with the law. Residents often feel unsafe, they live in fear.
All in all live in a big city have more advantages and disadvantages. I think that better is live in a village, because there are fresh air and any traffic jam.
(nie za krótkie to zakończenie? Może powinnam coś dodać?)
P.S. Często powtarza mi się "big city" nie bardzo wiedziałam czym to zastąpić:/
Z góry dziękuję za pomoc :) Na środę muszę to oddać.
These days most people live in 'a' (po co to 'a' tutaj?) big cities. There are a lot of advantages and disadvantages of 'livin' (ortog) in 'a' (niepotr)big cities.
First of all big cities are very attractive. There are many shops, bars, beauty salons and department storeS (tutaj l. mn).
Many people from small towns and villages come to A big city to go shopping, because there they can buy more things than at 'residence' (nie, to jest zle slowo, tutaj moze 'at home').
People don't have to 'come' (moze 'travel') many kilometers to work. 'That' (zle slowo, tutaj 'the') work in 'big' (niepotr) A city is often better paid than work in A (zapominasz o przedimkach!) small town.
The most important disadvantage of living in a big city is that there 'are more pollutiions' IS more pollution') , because there are a lot of cars and factories. There are often 'a' (no, musisz zadecydowac, czy chcesz uzywac l. poj czy l. mnoga - albo ...there are often traffic jamS, albo, there is often a traffic jam) traffic jam which makes (tu brakuje slowa) difficult to travel by car or public transport. 'Pollutions' (L. poj) 'have' HAS A (znowu zapomnialas o tym przedimku) bad influence 'of' ON (brak przedimka) the health of (brak przedimka) resident.
In (brak przedimka) big city THERE are more thefts and conflicts with the law.
All in all 'live' (tutaj ma byc rzeczownik) in a big city 'have' HAS more advantages and disadvantages. I think that IT IS better TO 'is' (niepotr) live in a village, because there 'are' (napisz ...you can have) fresh air and THERE ARE 'any' NO traffic jamS.
Dziękuję bardzo za sprawdzenie tekstu. Jestem ogromnie wdzięczna. Mam nadzieję że przez 8 miesięcy do matury jakoś wyrobię się przy pisaniu tego typu tekstów. Dzięki wielkie jeszcze raz :)
Cytat: asiamarz
Dziękuję bardzo za sprawdzenie tekstu. Jestem ogromnie wdzięczna. Mam nadzieję że przez 8 miesięcy do matury jakoś wyrobię się przy pisaniu tego typu tekstów. Dzięki wielkie jeszcze raz :)

Wkjejaj chociaz jeden taki tekst na dzien, to poprawimy.
Mam pytanko, czy to zakończenie nie jest za krótkie??
A co do zdania ostatniego z 4 paragrafu, jakoś mi nie wychodzi :( bo w sumie sens miał być taki że korki uliczne utrudniają podróżowanie samochodem lub komunikacją miejską. I w końcu wyszło mi coś takiego "There are often traffic jams which makes travelling difficult by car or public transport "ale nie pasuje mi to jakoś gramatycznie
There are often traffic jams which 'makes' MAKE (to l. mn-od jams') travelling difficult by car or BY public transport...and that is why living in the country appears less stressful and more leisurely.
Cytat: terri
There are often traffic jams which 'makes' MAKE (to l. mn-od jams') travelling difficult by car or BY public transport...and that is why living in the country appears less stressful and more leisurely.

ja bym jeszcze dal 'by car or by public transport' przed 'difficult'.
w zdaniu z traffic jams moglo chodzic o
traffic jams, which makes
Dzięki za pomoc, dostałam 4+ z tego. Uwaga na marginesie od nauczyciela była, że za krótkie zdania i powinny być dłuższe. Dzięki. Pozdrawiam
Temat przeniesiony do archwium.

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