Proposal do sprawdzenia

Temat przeniesiony do archwium
Cześć, bardzo bym prosił o sprawdzenie poporawnosci tego writingu.

The principle aim of this proposal is to lay out probable activities that should be included in our college annual activity for students. In this proposal, I will list all the necessary factors that students pointed out as missing in last year's activity.

Firstly, the biggest omission of last year's activity, which was the lack of variety, should be tackled in the first place by providing students with more opportunities and activities they can involve themselves in. This should definitely include some sports activities for those of them having an inkling for a little bit of competition.

Secondly, food and beverages are mandatory. This was actually the biggest complaint from students so in order to prevent more complaints the cooperation with food trucks or small restaurants is needed to provide the event with some tasty and also cheap food for the participants. An opportunity to set up their own barbeques or bring their own picnic food should also be given.

Thirdly, the event should involve some music. Young and local artists should be invited to perform live on stage, while professional DJ might run a disco party. Nevertheless the minutiae, a couple of small stages, each one with different genre played on them, should suffice everyone. There should be some dancefloor as well for those who would like to not only listen to music.

In conclusion, all the omissions mentioned by students from the previous year's event should be taken into account and addressed. While there will be probably some who would never be satisfied with whatever the activities will be, by listening to students and taking their remarks seriously we might make the event much better.
The principle aim of this proposal is to 'lay' (nie mysl o lozxku, tutaj 'set') out probable activities that should be included in our college annual activity for students. In this proposal, I will list all the necessary factors 'that students pointed out' (moze inaczej...pointed out by students) as missing in last year's activity.

This should definitely include some sports activities for those 'of them' (niepotrzebne) having an inkling for a little bit of competition.

'Nevertheless the minutiae' (to jest zle, pomysl co chcesz napisac), a couple of small stages, each one with different genre (of music) played on them, should suffice everyone. There should be some dancefloor as well for those who would like 'to not only' (to jest jak dla mnie za bardzo tongue twister) listen to (a przedimek?) music.

While there 'will be probably' (nie, tutaj ...probably be') some who would never be satisfied with whatever the activities 'will be' (zle, tutaj ARE) , by listening to students and taking their remarks seriously we might make the event much better.
Ja bym zostawił 'lay out'
W tym kontekście bym dał 'possible' w miejsce 'probable'
edytowany przez Aaric: 15 lip 2016

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