Rozprawka do sprawdzenia

Napisz rozprawkę, w której przedstawisz dobre i złe strony występowania dzieci w programach telewizyjnych typu talent show.


Nowadays, more and more TV producers are creating talent shows to boost their viewership. Significant part of these shows are kid ones. The moot question is whether involving young poeple in this kind of TV commercy has only positive sides, or if it has negative effects. This is what I will discuss below in the following paragraphs.

Firstly, the proponents of the idea of creating shows for kids argue, that taking part in this kind of competition can improve children’s self-confidence and ability to prove themselves in front of people. If these skills are developed at early stage of their life, it could result in making career in TV by them. Secondly, kids taking part in talent-shows are usually getting a lot of fame and people are recognizing them on the street. Also their peers are admiring them, so they are feeling more comfortable if they have to deal with something new. Thirdly, winning the competition means earning a lot of money. Usually parents take the money, but they fully focus on their precious kid, to provide him a good life. Children can fulfill their dreams and develop their talents by winning the talent-show.

On the other hand, the opponents of involving kids in talent-show say, that children are not used to appear in front of cameras, and it can overwhelm them. They argue, that young poeple need the ordinary childhood, and TV commerce should be let for adults. Moreover, kids, to improve themselves and to fully focus on talent-show are putting down education. They simply have no time to study, unless they are not resting at all, but it can be harmful for them. Last, but not least, kids are very sensitive, so if they lose the talent-show, they suffer greater stress than adults. It can be really difficult for them to accept the failure, and not to give up their passion.

To sum up, talent-shows for kids have its pros and cons and it depends on individual opinion, whether it is good or bad phenomenom.

the kidS ones?
commerce

Nowadays, more and more TV producers are creating talent shows to boost their viewership. Significant part of these shows are kids ones. The moot question is whether involving young poeple in this kind of TV commerce has only positive sides, or if it has negative effects. This is what I will discuss below in the following paragraphs.

Firstly, the proponents of the idea of creating shows for kids argue, that taking part in this kind of competition can improve children’s self-confidence and ability to prove themselves in front of people. If these skills are developed at early stage of their life, it could result in making career in TV by them. Secondly, kids taking part in talent-shows are usually getting a lot of fame and people are recognizing them on the street. Also their peers are admiring them, so they are feeling more comfortable if they have to deal with something new. Thirdly, winning the competition means earning a lot of money. Usually parents take the money, but they fully focus on their precious kid, to provide him a good life. Children can fulfill their dreams and develop their talents by winning the talent-show.

On the other hand, the opponents of involving kids in talent-show say, that children are not used to appear in front of cameras, and it can overwhelm them. They argue, that young poeple need the ordinary childhood, and TV commerce should be let for adults. Moreover, kids, to improve themselves and to fully focus on talent-show are putting down education. They simply have no time to study, unless they are not resting at all, but it can be harmful for them. Last, but not least, kids are very sensitive, so if they lose the talent-show, they suffer greater stress than adults. It can be really difficult for them to accept the failure, and not to give up their passion.

To sum up, talent-shows for kids have its pros and cons and it depends on individual opinion, whether it is good or bad phenomenom.




Czyli tak jak jest teraz jest w miare?
I jeszcze sie zastanawiam czy w zdaniu
może być to him czy nie powinno być czasem , bo w sumie płeć nie jest znana.
Thanks for help :D

kids shows (ones) - czy nie powinien być genitive case i czy ones tutaj pasuje?
whether ... or ...
below i following?

...
za dużo przecinków
pEOple

Nowadays, more and more TV producers are creating talent shows to boost their viewership. Significant part of these shows are for kids. The moot question is whether involving young people in this kind of TV commerce has only positive sides or if it has negative effects. This is what I will discuss in the following paragraphs.

Firstly, the proponents of the idea of creating shows for kids argue, that taking part in this kind of competition can improve children’s self-confidence and ability to prove themselves in front of people. If these skills are developed at early stage of their life, it could result in making career in TV by them. Secondly, kids taking part in talent-shows are usually getting a lot of fame and people are recognizing them on the street. Also their peers are admiring them, so they are feeling more comfortable if they have to deal with something new. Thirdly, winning the competition means earning a lot of money. Usually parents take the money, but they fully focus on their precious kid to provide him a good life. Children can fulfill their dreams and develop their talents by winning the talent-show.

On the other hand, the opponents of involving kids in talent-show say that children are not used to appear in front of cameras and it can overwhelm them. They argue, that young poeple need the ordinary childhood, and TV commerce should be let for adults. Moreover, kids to improve themselves and to fully focus on talent-show are putting down education. They simply have no time to study, unless they are not resting at all, but it can be harmful for them. Last, but not least, kids are very sensitive, so if they lose the talent-show, they suffer greater stress than adults. It can be really difficult for them to accept the failure and not to give up their passion.

To sum up, talent-shows for kids have its pros and cons and it depends on individual opinion, whether it is good or bad phenomenom.

Poprawiłem, usunąłem pare przecinków, tylko nie wiem o co dokładnie tutaj chodzi
Dzięki za pomoc :D

significant part ja bym dał 'number'
should be let for adults - I suppose you're thinking of leFt
Po moreover coś brak, dalej np put off albo neglect their education.