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In this day and age man uses the latest technology in every walk of life and it would be hard to function without it. There are a lot of advantages of new technology. However, there are some disadvantages too. First of all, we utilization of new technologies at work, but not only.
Firstly, thanks to new technology, for example a newest medical equipment, doctors can find a cause of disease and they can save the life in a quicker and simpler way. On the other hand, a lot of appliances emit a harmful radiation. People profit from new technologies every time. Almost everybody owns a mobile phone which becomes smaller and smaller and modern mobile phones are equipped with a camera, a mp3 player and other functions. Thanks to mobile phones we can communicate with somebody, wherever we are on the Earth. Computers simplify and speed up our work. We can find a lot of information because we have the Internet. We can investigate the universe. All the same, there are some disadvantages of new technology. Unfortunately, people use new technology for ill purposes. We create new kinds of weapons to conduct war. Using TV and Internet all the time causes that people can’t talk with other people and they haven’t got any friends. Therefore, it is important to utilization new technology with moderation and for a good purpose.
First of all, 'we' (tutaj chyba THE utilization of new technologies at work, 'but not only' (tutaj brakuje reszty zdania).
Firstly, 'thanks' (nie uzywaj tego slowa w tym sensie, uzyj DUE to THE new technology, for example a newest medical equipment, doctors can find 'a' THE cause of A disease and they can save 'the' A life in a quicker and simpler way. On the other hand, a lot of appliances emit 'a' (niepotr) harmful radiation. Almost everybody owns a mobile phone which 'becomes' (jabym tutaj napisala HAS BECOME) smaller and smaller and modern mobile phones are equipped with
a camera, a mp3 player and other functions. 'Thanks' (nie, to nie tak - tutaj AS A RESULT OF THIS, 'to mobile phones' (niepotr) we can communicate with somebody, wherever we are 'on the Earth' IN THE WORLD.
Using TV and Internet all the time 'causes' RESULTS 'that' (jabym to inaczej...results in people not talking to each other and so not having any real friends) people can't talk with other people and they haven't got any friends.
Therefore, it is important to 'utilization' UTILIZE new technology with
moderation and for a good purpose.